Dream 804 – We will not be Passed Over
Received on Monday, April 15, 2024
Communion
Dear Father,
Thank You for granting me one more day! Thank You!
This morning is an extremely still morning. It is as if the landscape is frozen in time. Or maybe it is like You have a remote control and have everything around us paused. Personally, I would like You to delete the bad movie we are in right now and put us in a better one. The world is falling fast. I cried over and over yesterday and I couldn’t get a grip on my lamenting.
My husband and I watched the last couple of hours of the Masters Golf Tournament last night. I was grateful that this Christian player won as he has been dominating the tour this year. He is unapologetic in his faith for Jesus. However, something else hit me as we watched this tournament. This felt like the last one. I felt the same was true for so many of the other popular shows on TV.
For me, I had built my hopes and dreams around a career in golf. While I couldn’t really afford to play golf, I loved it. I loved the smell of the grass. I loved the sounds of the birds. I loved the sound of the sprinklers. I even loved the sound of lawnmowers in the early morning. I found these so comforting to me.
While I had big dreams for a career in golf, I had then accepted that I would not likely realize these in my lifetime. I had a pivotal moment in my career after college. I was offered the chance to come home to northern Idaho as the assistant golf pro at a resort. It didn’t pay much. For some reason that I do not recall, they had left the position open for me for one year. I then declined the position.
My life would have looked different had I turned to golf in 1988 and continued. I instead worked several jobs and never went back. My USGA handicap continued to climb. The last recorded number was 9.8 in 2007. The end. I struggled with injuries and never truly used those beautiful Titleist DT Irons my mom had bought me for my birthday.
These irons were custom made for me. I enjoyed a brief few rounds where I had backspin on the green. This had never happened before and it was definitely attributed to the clubs. With this cancer and my neck injury, all hope of even having a retirement at some point where I would just be out on a beautiful golf course again in a normal world… well, this is gone! Only you God can make changes here!
As for the Masters, I hadn’t really watched it in a few years to pay attention. While watching it this year, they showed the old masters hitting their shots. There were some of my old golf heroes, golfers like Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus. I still remember watching them play when I was a kid.
I came from a different world. We had no money for dreams like these. It is like skiing or tennis, the equipment is expensive. Those called to these arenas are those God has called to them for a very specific purpose and all was provided. For me, God – you said ‘No, not this way, Erin I have a better way’. This hurt as I worked so hard for this and then it abruptly ended. A door so large and heavy closed that I couldn’t even open it a crack.
When I watched this Masters, I cried. Over the last 48 hours, I have had the smell of dust. The air hasn’t felt fresh even though everything is clean in the house. Something is wrong with my sense of smell. My vision has been poor. I have been experiencing nausea that is off the charts. This recently happens in the morning. It is as if I am pregnant. I am not sure what this is about.
My Spirit, the Holy Spirit, is in full defensive mode. It is as if something is coming that will make the former way of living or doing life completely change. It is like high school graduation. You spend multiple years of your life preparing for this day and then you reach your 12th Grade. However, you are still never certain of what all of it will look like. The ability for me to live at home to wait and figure it out was never an option.
My brothers and I were prepared to move out and move on. This was the way. However, now – this feels like this, but what is coming is not promising, like the possibilities of a future of exciting opportunities at the age of 18. This is the opposite. Father, I had hoped for the Rapture before all of this became so dark. If this was the last Masters Golf Tournament, then this will be the last football season too.
This will be the last spring of flowers and summer of activities and yardwork before the trees drop their leaves. I am grieving the way things will go. Will there still be time to have my kidney removed? What about Bend OR? This is impossible unless we rent a tiny place. Should we? Should I try to have one last season in the place I love, Father? Father, please help all of us!
These dreams seem similar to working our way through Grades 1 to 12. For these dreams, Grade 1 started in the fall of 2012, the same season school starts. The Lord said ‘it is finished’ in my last dream. This makes me think that school is almost over and that it is now time for us to graduate. In this analogy, and as it is in real life, Grade 12 ends in the spring of 2024. 12 grades from the fall of 2012 to the spring of 2024!
I had another dream last night…
Sub-dream 1 “Working at a collapsing Target store” begins…
I was around people that I do not know. I was moving items from one place to another when I realized I didn’t want to live where I was going to. I was moving into an old Victorian home that needed a remodel. The plumbing wasn’t working and it had an old smell. It was one of my worst nightmare situations.
I was working at a Target store that was failing. Each time the shelves emptied, the rows of shelves were then pushed together into the center of the store. They had done this shuffling so many times that only the outer perimeter rows of the store had products. This was also happening because there was nothing new arriving.
I arrived at my ‘new home’ after work. Instead of staying, I packed up what I needed and left. There was a storm coming. I was able to arrive back at my current home to be safe before the storm arrived. Since the home and the Target store seemed like it was in San Francisco, I was relieved to be away from there and back home.
Sub-dream 1 over…
Father, I couldn’t wait to be away from this nightmare. For me personally, I do not like Victorian-era architecture. I just pray I don’t do something stupid like move without your leading!
Jesus: “Erin, come up!”
He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair. His Voice was very clear.
Jesus: “Erin, I am here and I am with you! Do not worry as I don’t dwell in stupid. This dream was given to you because you are wrestling with what could have been, a former way that never was. You were removed from an even worse fate.”
Me: “Thank You, Lord. I am grateful for the life I have now.”
Jesus: “Yes. However, the current way is about to change and you understand this. You are grieving.”
Me: “Yes, Lord. It is only by Your Grace that I am still here. You have shown me Heaven or the New Earth or the New Heaven and the New Earth. I am not sure how this will go, but I rest in Your assurance that You are with us. I love You and I know You are in control. However, all of this feels unsettling in my heart. When I had hopes and dreams, I was ‘Passed Over’ by You. You had a better way for me.
“Lord, unless You do something miraculous with me, I will die unrealized and forgotten. Even the actual dreams You have given me will be lost to those who could use the encouragement that there is a wonderful God who loves us personally. Your love is intoxicating. You are worthy to be loved and pursued by Your Creation. However, it is You who loves us enough that You died for us.
“You are alive with us now and long for a relationship with us. While I never realized my personal dream, I had some amazing special miraculous moments from You. I have had over one thousand dreams and words from You when I include my personal dreams. I have had a dream-life greater than I could have ever imagined.
“While I had thought myself small, You had big plans for me. You brought me up from nothing to where I am now. You gave me two sons and a daughter who all love You. You even gave me a husband who loves You and his children too. Even though You have not healed my whole body, You did heal my heart muscle. I am grateful! Lord, what is next?”
Jesus: “Erin, your use of the term ‘Passed Over’ is interesting! I didn’t take you the normal way. I instead took you out from a way that led to death and into a better way. You are no longer a slave. You are free. I have removed the chains that bound you and I have set you free. I have not ‘Passed You Over’ in a negative sense. I have instead marked you for My purposes.
“Now, I know that the angel I sent gave seven more years. You then wonder if these seven more years are for your life or is it for something else? You wonder if it could even be for both? Not long after this, you then received the confirmation that you have a terminal illness. Well, Erin, in this life, you are born and then you are terminal here. I am God. It is I who determines a man’s way and his days.”
Me: “What is Free Will?”
Jesus: “Free Will is to choose one way or another. However, this is still the course of the Way I have made.”
Me: “So, is anything in my control or in my ability to choose?”
Jesus: “Good question. Yes. But this is of no surprise to Me. If you choose to be one way, I am still with you in it. If you choose another way, even then I am with you. However, because I love you and want the best for you, because I know and see the hidden things, I then send angels to guard you in all you do.
“I shut doors that cannot be opened and I open doors that cannot be shut. Don’t spend your time trying to pry open a door that I have sealed shut. Even a locksmith can’t open what I lock. While I will allow you to try, it will be discouraging when you know in your heart that My Will guards the door.
“When an open door is presented by Me, well, that door would be made clear with angels, music, lights and every manner of sign. You know when I have opened or closed a door. You know when I am calling you to pass through an open door.”
Me: Crying. “Lord, open some doors soon. As a house, we are growing tired. Evil is advancing. It is difficult. The doctors are finalizing my surgery schedule now. I had hoped that You would have reached down and opened the door of a healing miracle by now. I am hurt as I love You and I don’t understand it. I know You can…”
Jesus: “Thank you for being honest. Now, I will be clear with you. You surrender to Me and then you take it back. You do this because, as troubles begin to loom, you question your position with Me.”
Me: “You are right, Lord.”
Jesus: “I love you no matter what, Erin. I delight in you. You surrender your life to Me and I work through you. I do not plan to destroy you in this life. Even so, what if I did allow this?”
Me: “I would still love You. Whatever You choose for me, it is the best way, Lord. Whatever way You form is The Way that leads to life in eternity.”
Jesus: “Then give Me your life. I promise good for you all of your days… you and your house.”
Me: “I have come to the edge of an impossible sea. My enemies pursue me. I am an easy mark for destruction. They ride on swift horses. They have powerful weapons and strong chariots. I have nothing. As I stand here, You are my God who parts the sea so that I can pass through it on dry land. You then remove my pursuers. They are no more. I am free.”
Jesus: “You are free, Erin. I have declared it. You trust in where I take you. You trusted Me for your deliverance and therefore I have blessed you. I will continue to care for you because I am with you. What I won’t do for the ones whose hearts are set on Me like the rising of the sun at dawn to the setting of the sun at the end of day. Since you think of Me even in your sleeping hours, My heart is also upon you.
“Erin, I love you. I am here with you. I am about to present a door unlike any other. Only I can open this door as no man can shut a door I open. Not one. Rejoice, Erin, rejoice! This is a good day, a day unlike any other. Though you are weary, tired and discouraged, I promise to carry you.”
I then looked up out of my window. There appeared to be cloud writing in the sky. If this is writing, my husband and I could not figure out what it said. I took a couple of photos for all of the Nest to now see…
Dream over…
Previous Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-803/
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