Dream 239 – Jesus and Matthew 7 (Pearls & Pigs)
Received on Sunday, April 2, 2017
Thank You for all that You have done! You are an amazing Father! You are so loving and You care about each of us dearly. My adversaries have been working overtime to send us trouble, but, at each turn, Your Divine Counsel has saved us from trouble.
The flu has threatened us several times over the last three weeks. With each child, there ended up being nothing more than a few sniffles and a slight sore throat. None have had a full blown flu, which is unusual with seven of us in one enclosed space, so thank You!
Thank You for the beautiful promise of spring. Snow still covers the ground here, but it is slowly melting. The last two storms mostly hit to the south of us and what we received here was relatively mild. Thank You for keeping us safe through these storms. I feel so blessed and thankful.
I am not personally healed yet, but I am so thankful that our friends have seen healing. You have answered our prayers! I know and still believe that You have a plan for me and I look to You in all that I do.
You give me strength to write when You call me. Even when I cannot feel my fingers at times, You give me the ability to make dinner for my family and You grant me rest. I find that I cannot always set a routine, but I do what I can on my own strength and surrender the rest to You.
My doctor told me that my body is like a giant barometer and that those of us with injuries or even old bones will feel when a low pressure system comes in. This is happening to me today. Father, I give You these pains as You so often remind us to lay all of our burdens before You.
This last week was particularly brutal for me, but especially Friday. Some of our troubles reminded me of the days when my sons were in a special program for victims of abuse and for those who had special needs or developmental delays. Basically, they were all put in a classroom that sometimes turned out to be a melting pot of trouble.
It seemed unfair to me that schools would put kids with autism and other special needs in the same classroom as troubled, abused and abusive kids. Let’s just say that there was a lot of learned behavior from their peers and that this was not necessarily mutually beneficial.
However, and as all the parents were told, ‘with budget cuts, this is the best that we have to offer.’ Well, we really had no other choices ten years ago. You did what the courts told you to do and any deviations meant that ‘the wolves would come’.
Now, if I was stronger and had the means, I would have homeschooled my boys. However, this was not an option that I had as I had no means to live and no real alternatives. My hands were tied.
Anyway, the kids had a young, bright-eyed and sweet special needs teacher. When she first came into the program, she was optimistic, funny and sweet. However, by the end of that spring, I had seen her change. Her optimism for the children and their future had soon changed to ‘well, let’s just take this day-by-day’.
I had later heard that she had put in for a transfer not long after that. I felt sad for her and all of the kids. Despite the grim diagnosis for so many of them, the kids ended up loving her and not just a little bit either. Quite simply, they loved the ‘light’ that had shone from her.
Sadly, I witnessed her light slowly fading a bit each day. I believe that the teachers around her, and even the administration itself, were a big part of the problem. While she had started out with an upbeat ‘can-do’ attitude, they were already jaded by an over-stressed system.
In the spring of that year, she had called the parents to a conference to inform us that the program would now end. Afterwards, she took special time with me to show me around the classroom. She shared special things about each child without naming names. I could tell that her ‘can-do’ excitement and hope had almost faded away.
Me: “This was a brutal week at school. I heard that several of the children had been suspended for fighting. One of my boys had even been accidentally hit by another during a fight. There was quite a bit of name calling. I do not know how you do this.”
Teacher: “Oh yes, it is that time of year. Take the spring season, couple it with a full moon and then add in some beautiful, sunny days and you have a recipe for all kinds of trouble.”
Me: Laughing. “Wow, does that seriously really happen?”
Teacher: “Oh yes, but especially during spring time. Late spring is the worst for special needs and for others with ‘troubled souls’.”
Me: “Is this scientific?”
Teacher: “Well, studies have shown a correlation. While it may just be a desire to be outside as it gets nicer out, I think there is much more to this. I believe that they know that their usual daily routine has almost ended and that the uncertainty of summer is soon to begin. Most of these students do not have good summers.”
The teacher seemed noticeably sad as she spoke. I knew that there would be very little that I could say or do to comfort her at this point.
Me: “Thank you for all that you have done for my boys. My one son, though he is sometimes difficult for you, says wonderful things about you. This is very rare for him. He even told me that he loves you.” I smiled at her.
Teacher: Smiling. “Yes, your son is one special little guy. He does not allow anyone to pick on the other kids, but especially the ones with Down syndrome.” Laughing. “However, he just needs to report it instead of physically intervening.”
I nodded in agreement with her. Despite later passing this instruction on to my son, an incident soon occurred and my son was suspended for standing up for a Down syndrome child yet again later that very week. As someone was bullying the Down child, my son decided to stand in between them to try and stop it.
The bully then proceeded to call my son names and was punching and shoving him. This boy then said some rather derogatory comments to him and then punched him hard enough to bruise him. At this point, a fight ensued and my son was then found guilty by association.
After this, I had been called down to the center to speak with the director of the center. When I arrived, I looked into the room where my son was and he was now drawing pictures with some crayons. He looked relaxed and as if nothing had happened.
Director: “We spoke to witnesses and know that your son was just sticking up for one of the Down children. However, my hands are tied as he still got physical with the other boy. While this is a formality, the rules indicate that your son will not be able to come to the lake with the other kids next week.”
Despite my best efforts, I could tell that his ruling was already final. I felt sad for my son as I knew he had been looking forward to this. Before I went to pick him up to take him home, I went into the restroom and cried.
Soon after this, an enemy outside of the school ramped up again and I then had to remove both of my sons from this special program before the year ended. When I now look back at these times, I realize that this was at the very beginning of our trials.
It was not that many months after this that I had heard that this center had lost its funding. Most of these kids were then mainstreamed, which was really not great for them or for anyone else. The system was just too financially stressed to truly cope.
Years after this, I worked with someone whose wife worked in a psychiatric hospital. He told me the same thing about spring time, combined with the full moon, marked an uptick in violent behaviors at the hospital.
He then told me that he was often afraid for his wife as she had been the target of quite a few threats. He then indicated that she had already been in some ‘situations’ that he was unable to discuss, but I could tell by the look on his face that they had been really traumatic.
Father, this week was really a tough week. My one son had an altercation with his best friend on Friday. He was supposed to go to the boy’s home for a sleepover. However, and for no reason and with my husband’s son as witness, the boy started accusing him of various things that he never did.
When I went to pick my son up, I had his overnight bag in the car and was ready to transport him and his friend back to the boy’s home for the sleepover. I was then told this story and was saddened that such a senseless thing had occurred. As we drove home, I could tell that my son was disappointed.
Now that all of us were in the car at the same time and driving home, my youngest daughter then also shared a story about what happened at her school that same day. There had been a heated altercation between two families in the parking lot.
A car had hit another family’s truck in the rear end quite hard and the people in the car then claimed that it was the truck’s fault. The people in the car were from the Middle East and the language barrier had made this situation even more difficult. However, all of the witnesses present confirmed that it was the car’s fault.
This was not just a minor incident either as she indicated that firetrucks and police had come and it was a big deal. When the boy that was in the truck had later started to talk about this in class, the teacher sternly told him not to talk about it.
Later that same day, my oldest daughter told me about a boy that had physically attacked one of her best friends. She was soon in tears as she told me how her friend had been pushed into a snowbank.
While the altercation ended quickly and everyone was okay, she was still rattled. However, on this very same day, my oldest son then shared a story about an attack he had also received, this time from a friend on-line.
Thankfully, they all soon felt better as I had decided to treat all of them to a milkshake. One of the kids then started joking around with me, but it would turn out to be prophetic.
Son: “Mom, if we have experienced all of this, then something is probably coming your way too.”
We laughed about it, but then prayed just in case. We then prayed for my husband to get home safe and sound as he was still at work. Once my husband later arrived home safely and we were all here, I thought we would now be safe.
Then, and seemingly out of nowhere, an attack came from one of our family members on my husband’s side. However, it was an attack specifically directed against me and it was brutal. The funny thing is that I have never even met this man before.
While he is also a watcher, the only one I know of in either of our families, and considers himself a Christian, what came from him was simply brutal. This took us by surprise as my husband loves this man and trusted him.
In the past, this family member had told my husband that he was supposedly given a gift from the Lord to be a ‘rebuker’. At the time, we both thought this odd as we had never even heard of such a gift before and could not find anything supporting this in the Bible when we looked.
The memory of his ‘gift’ had come back to us as soon as he made me his target. While rebuking in love and grace is something we all have to do sometimes, there was no love or grace in his message at all despite his claims that his words were meant ‘for our good’.
Soon after his attack, I went to the Lord to pray for this man as I was now deeply distressed over his inflammatory statements and accusations. To make a long story short, He confirmed that this man’s words were straight from the enemy and were meant to destroy us.
In this man’s communication, he claimed that he had been sent by Jesus to rebuke me for my supposed ‘association’ with the Masons, along with other things related to the occult. Without supplying any proof, he then accused me of ‘channeling demons’ and being an automatic writer controlled by demons while in a ‘trance state’.
Remember that this was all coming from someone who does not even know me and has never even spoken with me. All the while, this very same man then attends a church that he himself has lambasted as being completely unscriptural simply to keep ‘peace in the family’.
We were both rattled and immediately wanted to retaliate with some inflammatory words of our own. I felt the Lord call me to pray to Him for strength and guidance.
“Thank You, Lord, for telling me just now not to worry and that You have this. Thank You for calling me up to give me instructions.”
When I went to Him, He had me first pray for this man. He then had me release this man back to Him. He then had me lay all of his accusations and charges before Him and at the foot of the Cross.
“Thank You, Lord, as I could not have done this without Your strength and wisdom. I was not in a good place, but, thank You, Lord, You are always in a good place.”
Jesus then gave me a word concerning this man. While He ensured me that this would eventually end up in a positive way for this man, He had also indicated that He would be dealing with this man’s ‘issues with pride’ first.
The Lord informed me that we would not hear from this man for a while. He then gave me further instructions on all of this, along with a vision that I was not to share at this time.
The Lord then comforted me and told me not to worry. However, He then reminded me that this attack was nothing compared to what is coming. Later that night, I still found myself unable to have peace, so I prayed to Him again.
Me: “Father, if you do not heal me and if I am not strengthened by You, and this includes my husband, our children and even our pets, we will not survive.” I suddenly realized something.
“Okay, I have just finished my last dream about Job and his so-called ‘friends’ and then You immediately send a ‘friend’ to talk to me, but really at me. This really is so similar.” However, my heart was still so heavy from this unwarranted attack.
“Lord, what if I just stop? What if I just live my life in peace and stop? What if I simply avoided all of the stress, heartache and trouble that comes with all of this? Sometimes this just does not seem worth it to me. There are people out there that do not care to actually read all that You have had me write and judge on parts taken out of context.
“These people are looking for demons at work instead and they do not see You at all in this. They do not see the tablet of my heart that You are writing on. They do not see You, Jesus, working at all in this. Why should I not just give up? Forgive me, Lord, as I am tired right now and ‘my exhaustion’ is asking what the use of all of this is.’”
After this, I waited, but I heard nothing. I was not stressed though, and I know that this may seem a bit odd, but I just knew that God is always perfect in all He does and that He would get back to me later. I soon fell asleep and had this dream on April 1st…
Dream 1 description begins…
I was in a lovely farmhouse and it was all painted in white. There was no ceiling and no roof, but only God above us to provide shelter. I had massive wheat fields, corn fields and a yard full of fruit trees of various kinds.
In an area of my yard close to my house, there were small herb gardens and a tiny pond with baby ducklings. It was so beautiful. Our children worked on the property and there was even a large horse arena where my daughters would ride horses and spend time with them.
I noticed that we had amassed quite a beautiful farm and started to laugh. I laughed because neither my husband nor I are farmers and we certainly do not feel that we have any calling at all to do so. In other words, I could tell that this had to be a dream.
The day was beautiful. It was spring time and the blue skies were perfect. The temperature was perfect too at 70 degrees Fahrenheit. What seemed a bit odd for this season was that the wheat, the corn and the fruit were already ripe for the harvest. It was clearly still spring time as there were baby animals and blossoming flowers.
It was abundant and beautiful. It was a weekend day and I was preparing for a potluck dinner of sorts for several neighbors and old family members. For some reason, it was to be for people from when I was a child in Iowa and Illinois that were coming over.
Many of these people were church-goers, but most were the type that would keep church and God ‘confined to Sunday mornings’. This would often be followed by someone inviting them over for a big afternoon meal between lunch and dinner.
It seemed that it was now our turn to host and we were preparing. At around 11am, a neighbor came onto our property and he was chasing down a herd of very small fat pigs. He had apparently been planning to bring some hams for me to prepare for the afternoon meal.
While I was trying to be gracious about this, I did not like the way that these pigs were now trampling my beautiful garden and newly blossoming flowers. I quickly had our kids confine the pigs to a pen that we had been using for horse training. As I looked over this, I realized that these pigs were dirty and that I had no desire to have them.
The farmer was a neighbor of ours and was a kind and stout jovial man. He lived alone and we would often send over dinner plates when we knew that he was working long hours in the field. I was always careful not to insult him because he was my senior and always so full of years, stories and laughter. I somehow knew that he was God’s.
Farmer: “Oh, do not worry. I already have pre-slaughtered thirty of these pigs and I have the hams in the back of my pickup truck.”
As he said this, I looked over at the pen with all of these pigs and still felt a bit confused.
Me: “Oh, thank you. So, why did you then bring these pigs here?”
Farmer: “Oh, these ones ran away from me and thought that they would come here instead since everything here is blooming and joyful.”
Me: “Oh, so they came here to avoid slaughter?”
Farmer: “Well, why not? Just look at all that you have here. What animal would not want to come and hang out here? Well, land sakes, you even have a harvest ready.” He pointed to our corn and wheat fields.
“Just look at your orchard. I would love a slice of pie from those fruit trees or even just a drink of water from your well.” He then pointed to our little pond and fountain. “Why, I bet if you harvested these fields right now, you could replant and even have another harvest come fall. So, what do you think?”
As I looked around, I did not even realize all that we had here. I could not help but agree that we really could do as he said if we had wanted to!
Me: “Okay, I agree with you, but it would take a lot of work. My husband would have to quit his day job!” We both laughed.
Farmer: “Look, I have all of these hams for you, but you had better get these roasting or you will not have any meat for supper.”
I smiled and decided not to tell him that I had prepared some lamb roasts and they were already cooking with fresh rosemary and olive oil. Without me disagreeing or protesting, the farmer then unloaded all of the hams onto my porch.
Farmer: “Okay, then, I had better gather up these pigs and get on home.” He smiled at me. “They look hungry.” He then drove his flatbed truck over, unloaded his ramp and made some pig calls. “Sueeee, sueee, sooooeeee!”
He had placed a trough of slop at the front of the truck bed and the pigs spotted it and quickly ran up the ramp. He then closed the back of his truck and trapped them. At first, none of us had noticed that three of the pigs had run off to my tiny onion garden.
The three pigs then started trampling the onions. They were eating them and tearing them to shreds. He quickly ran over and grabbed all three of them. He then put two of the pigs under one arm and grabbed the last one by the nape of its neck.
Farmer: “Oops, sorry about that! Seems they got to your pearl onions. I am afraid that they trampled most of them.”
I laughed at this as I knew the exact Biblical passage that speaks about allowing your pearls to be trampled by pigs (Matthew 7:6).
Me: “Well, I guess none of us got there fast enough.” I smiled at him and laughed again. “It looks like most are unharmed, so all is okay.”
Farmer: “Well, do not worry. I will not let them get out again. However, I certainly understand why they like it here so much. Just look at this place! Do not let those church folk out in your garden either or it could even be worse!” We both laughed.
“Why, just look at you. You are so busy cooking dinner for them that you could not even attend today.” He laughed. “Probably doesn’t matter much as it seems that I hear more from God in my pigpen than I do in those pews these days. You’re better off – white church, white floors, white pews, muddy hearts…”
While I felt uncomfortable with what he just said, I knew in my heart that he was right in so many ways. So many churches were now simply catering to the masses – all style and no substance.
Me: “Now please come back for supper, okay? The lamb will be ready at around 3:00pm, but these hams probably will not be ready until 6:00pm. Please come back.”
Farmer: “Do not worry. I will not miss this.” He laughed and left with his pigs.
I then had my kids help me with the many hams he had left for us. There was so much fat on the hams that they were actually very small once we cut all of the fat off of them. At most, each ham only had enough meat to feed one person.
There was so much lard that it was quite weighty. I had my boys cart it off and it took three separate wheelbarrow trips, all of them full. We decided to burn the fat in a pit off of our property that was often used by those around us for things like this.
I then started preparing the hams after I had them spiral cut. They were boneless, which meant I could not cut them through completely. As we had been experimenting with raising honey bees, I decided to coat the hams with some fresh honey and spices.
I then placed the hams in a large oven on special racks that were meant for drying fruit. The hams were messy and I really did not want to add them to the menu. However, I did not want to hurt the sweet farmer’s feelings, so I continued preparing them.
I knew that my husband would be disappointed when he came home as we would now be entertaining guests for an additional three hours because of these hams. We had been hoping that we would be all finished and have people leave by around 4:00pm, but now it seemed that this would not be all finished before 7:00pm.
Soon, the guests began to arrive at our house. Since most of them then informed me that they wanted to eat ham and not lamb, I knew that we would have to endure superficial conversations prior to the ham finally being ready to serve. Finally at 7:00pm, all the guests were gone and only the sweet farmer remained.
Farmer: “Well, I just knew that you would need those hams.”
Me: “Oh, I am so glad you thought to give them to us. Thank you.”
Farmer: “Well, even though your guests have been fed well, they will now spend the rest of the week cursing you and your family, all because you have been blessed and they know that this is from God. You entertained fools and, even though you fed them good fruit and shared what you have with them, they will still turn on you.
“They only wanted the pork, but you could have left the fat on the hams and they still would have eaten it. No matter what you do, they will still hate you for it. In return for your hospitality, they now give you curses.
“Now, pay no mind to them. Why not consider harvesting your fields now? Do not worry as it looks like your pearl onions have already recovered from the swine.”
We were now all there together in the house and looked over. It was now as if the pigs had never been there with the pearl onions in the first place.
Me: “Wow, what happened?” I looked at him and could tell he wanted to talk about the harvest instead. “Okay, about the fields. God would have to open the door for us to harvest this as we are not able to do this on our own right now.”
Farmer: “Look around! A door has already opened. Now, I must go as I have some slop I need to give to the pigs.” He laughed and shook his head. “I will see you soon.”
He smiled and drove off down our lane. As he did, I noticed that the sun was setting in the west just over the wheat to the left and the corn to the right.
Dream 1 description over…
Father, after this dream, I really do not want to eat ham anytime soon. I think I will prepare lamb for Easter supper instead. This dream was very vivid. In the dream, my children were very strong and hard workers. Smiles…not so much now. Not only that, but I was very industrious. Smiles…again, not so much right now.
Lord, as You know, after all that has happened to us this week, I had seriously considered stopping the ministry. A publisher has never come nor have we sought one and I have felt discouraged. Father, is there anything that You are requiring of us?
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
I was in Heaven in what seemed to be a familiar place. Right before me was a massive wheat field to my left and a massive barley field to my right. There was a path going through the middle of the rows of these two fields.
I ran down the path between the two fields. In the distance, I saw workers / harvesters in the barley field. On the horizon line, I saw mountains higher than normal and seemingly out of place for this particular setting. I noticed that the mountains still had snow on the very peaks.
As I looked some more at the workers in the barley field, my heart leapt when I saw Jesus in the field harvesting barley. He was wearing his white linen robe. As I ran to Him as fast as I could, He looked up from His work and waved to me. I ran up to where He was working and hugged Him.
Me: “Oh Lord, I am so glad to see You!”
Jesus: “I am glad to see you too, Erin.”
In the distance, I saw that there were also angels harvesting. It was then that I first noticed that He was putting the barley into two separate bundles.
Me: “Lord, You are very busy.”
Jesus: Smiling. “I am always busy, Erin.” He laughed and the angels joined Him in His laughter. “Well, Erin, you have been busy as well.”
Me: “Yes, Lord, but perhaps foolishly.”
Jesus: “Erin, there are many fools. Do you understand the times that you are in? Barley was once used for bread, but now it is used mostly for drunkards.”
Me: “Do You mean beer?”
Jesus: “Yes. The purpose for barley has changed and the demand for it being in bread has been lost by the desire for drink.”
Me: I nodded in agreement, but then became saddened. “Lord, I feel that I have made some mistakes recently. Perhaps I am an ‘April Fool’?”
Jesus: “Well, perhaps, but only momentarily and only because you entertained them briefly. Understand the times that you are in, Erin. When people come to judge you harshly, remember that I did not send them. Is it not written, ‘Do not judge or you too will be judged’? You are now being used by Me as a measure, so rejoice!”
Me: “But, Lord, it is hard to rejoice when faced with unfair judgment.”
Jesus: “Yes, but you do not answer to them nor are you to engage in their folly. I did not send them. They have no use for you or your position. You come to Me and I have sent you a love letter that I have written on your heart. Those that come to judge you do not read this even though they are fully able to.
“Instead, they prefer to examine the speck in your eye and fail to notice the plank in their own. A pig is despised and unclean and is an analogy for them. Even when the mud is washed off of these pigs, they still prefer to return to the mud from where they came just as a dog returns to its vomit.
“These pigs represent men who have hard hearts. They are incapable of receiving truth and those things that are holy are foreign to them. They have no clean palate for truth and declare themselves judges of that which is holy. Though they refuse to partake in that which is holy, they are fast to criticize those who do, understand?”
Me: “Yes, Lord. Please forgive me.”
Jesus: “Do not worry, Erin, as I have plans for you and you will soon be strengthened. Remember that those of you with the greatest needs will be considered to be detestable.” He smiled. “Now, those pigs in your dream had escaped to your farm…”
Me: “Lord, I have never worked on a farm! How will I know how to do this? How am I able to do this?” I was now laughing and asked Him a light-hearted question. “Lord, how will I even recognize if it is a pig?”
Jesus: Laughing. “Erin, you will know them by their fruits. Anger, rage and curses will come from their lips soon after they say, ‘brother, I come in peace.’ It does not matter if they even abhor actual pigs, they will still run after them and with them.
“Now, I have separated the barley here for a good reason. Some will be for bread and will multiply and feed many. However, some…” He then pointed to the other pile. “…will be good only for fools and their drunkenness. Until the times sober them, they will be unable to see this as even a small kernel will be as a plank in their eyes.
“Now, do not worry about them. Give them to Me instead as all of this is Mine. Erin, they, the swine, trample the good, My Words, under their hooves. They are profane, obscene and corrupt and run to their perversions. All the while, they debase, growl, are quick to violence and void of peace. Anything of Godly value is abused and stomped down into the mud. They then roll over it and in it time and time again.”
Me: “Hmm, that is something that I had never thought of before. Your visual is sad, yet funny at the same time.”
Jesus: “Erin, I have given you pearls. Each truth in your life, each fruit and each gift, is from Me. I have given you pearls. Each of these come from a speck of irritating sand in the oyster shell of your life, a believer’s journey, and each one is special to Me.
“Even though an oyster, from the surface, is grotesque, perhaps even representing your life since very few would run to trade it with you, inside that life of yours, that oyster, I have created pearl after pearl. The grain of sand is My Word of Truth and now you have quite the strand of pearls!”
Just then, He pointed at my neck and I had beautiful necklace of perfect pearls. Each of the pearls had a high gauge and was beautifully opulent.
Me: Laughing. “Thank You, Lord.”
Jesus: “Now, do you think that a pig cares about any of what I have just told you? No! All good things and all truth come from Me. Instead, they would call all of this a doctrine of demons.
“Now, when I do send someone, I send a person that comes from a platform of love, not combativeness. Sometimes I will then even send that person to someone who does not look as one would think. Those who I have sent someone to will then be ready to receive truth and, though it be hard at times, they will eventually know Me. Rejoice! Now, Erin, look at the times you are in.”
Me: “Lord…” I was about to ask for healing for all of us.
Jesus: “I know, Erin, I will do all that I have promised. I will strengthen you and keep you, so do not worry.” He then smiled. “I have opened a door for you and I want you to walk through this. You have asked and now this I will give you. I am here.”
Me: “This all seems so much like Matthew 7. This is a huge parable directly from You, right?”
Jesus: “Erin, your house is built on solid rock. Do not let others who have built their houses on sand try to tell you that your house will never hold up during the storm. They will say these things by their lips even as their households are washed away by the water and blown to bits by the wind.” He shook His head. “They are the ones in peril, so let them go. They should be calling out to Me instead of cursing you during this. Now rejoice as I am about to do something in your days, Erin, that you would not believe even if you were told.”
He smiled and hugged me. His eyes were kind and He was upbeat, but he seemed very focused at the same time.
Dream added on Monday, April 3, 2017
The day after finishing this, I still felt ‘unsettled’ about my future role in all of this. Quite simply, I became worried about further personal attacks on my family like those that we experienced in the last week. Despite knowing God is in complete control, these attacks had still taken a toll on me.
The Lord then reminded me that He really was in complete control and about all that I would miss out on if I really did decide to stop now. He then helped solidify a renewed determination in me by sending another dream to add to the above.
Dream 2 description begins…
I was in a lead role of a school play, yet I had virtually no lines in the play. For most of the time, I was to simply stand at the front center of the stage. After a while, I found myself bored by all of this and just could not get overly excited about my role.
On the day of the play, there had been something that was preventing me from getting to the stage on time. I am not sure why I was not going to make it with adequate time to prepare. Perhaps it was snow or work, but the reason did not seem important here.
By the time I got home to get ready for the show, I realized that I only had an hour before the play began. It was an hour’s drive and I knew that I would barely make it. Since I did not really feel like performing anyway, I decided not to go. I decided to stay at home to rest and never even bothered to let anyone at the play know.
The next day, I took a trip into town and had to stop at various places. Everywhere I went, I saw children and I could tell that they had been crying and were very upset. When one little boy saw me, he pointed me out to his mother and started blubbering.
Boy: Wailing. “You did not come! You did not even show up!”
He was crying uncontrollably and was so distraught. I felt convicted and quite horrible. I then realized that all of these children were upset for the same reason. It was because I did not show up to the play. They had all been expecting me with excitement.
I became quite saddened as I really had no idea that my appearance would have made any difference. I thought that they would not notice me gone and that someone else would simply stand in for me. I was confused as I had not expected this at all.
In contrast to all of these children’s great sorrow at my ‘no show’, every parent I ran into seemed extremely angry at me. It seemed that they too were disappointed about my absence, but were especially angry because of the grief I had caused their children.
I felt terrible about this and decided to go to my job at a furniture store. I was hopeful that I had not disappointed anyone there. I was still quite concerned though. As I entered the store, my supervisor came right up to me and she did not look happy.
Supervisor: “So, you were sick, right?”
I could tell by the tone of her question that she had already heard about what had happened. When I was contacted by the play manager, I was taken by surprise by how angry he was and had clumsily lied and said that I had been really sick.
I did not know what else to say to him as I was so surprised that anyone had actually cared that I was not there. It was obvious that the play manager had then contacted my supervisor in anger to tell her. I found myself hesitating when answering her question as I could tell that she was very suspicious of me.
Me: I stumbled. “Uh, yes…”
Supervisor: Sarcastically. “Well, you ‘never lie’, so it must have been almost deathly, right?”
Me: I tried to avoid her question. “Yes…yes, it was.”
Supervisor: She looked unconvinced and glared at me with anger. “Well then, now I have decided that it is time to refresh my showroom. To do this, I have to move all of your stuff out immediately. You will have to take this all out right now.”
She first pulled out a massive chaise lounge with bullion fringe that she had on consignment for me. She then pulled out various accessories that I had brought in. However, there was much more that I had there. I realized there was way too much for me to move, so I phoned my husband and he said that he would come right away.
Even though there were some massive bookshelves that needed to be cleared out as well, we somehow got all of this into our vehicles. In earthly terms, this would have been impossible as there was just too much. My supervisor was disgusted with me, but would not tell me exactly why. I just knew it was because I had bailed out on the play.
Supervisor: Coldly. “Well, that is it then. We are finished.”
Me: “I am not sure what is going on. Am I no longer working here?”
Supervisor: “You have not worked here in a while. It is ‘time for a change’.”
After we finished loading up our vehicles with the very last of my items, I went to say goodbye. However, she did not even want to acknowledge me and acted as if I was not even there. As we drove off, I looked back at the store and was still shocked by this turn of events. Oh Lord, why did I not just show up at the play?
Dream 2 description over…
Thank You, Lord! You made me realize just how much I love serving You in spite of all of the resulting personal attacks. When I awoke, I was very disturbed that I would be so foolish as to leave this all behind so carelessly. Thank You, Lord, for letting this be ‘just a dream’. You always know the most perfect way to ‘rebuke’ with love!
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