Dream 260 – Mourning for Our Once Great Nation

Finished on Monday, October 2, 2017

Received on Wednesday, September 27, 2017 (heat wave – 90s)


Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for my family and friends.  Thank You for Your provisions.  Father, I have been in more pain these last couple of weeks than I have ever been.  I have cried so much this week and I now feel so broken and discouraged.  I have even been crying while I pray in my prayer language.

Father, I feel that something has now changed in the atmosphere and it feels epic. People’s hearts have now turned away from You in ‘mass exodus proportions’.  The spirit of rebellion is on the nations and the father of lies is spreading his false words.  The nations are splitting apart and also the hearts of men.

So, what happens next, Father? There is so much noise and clamor, but so very little truth.  My husband and I recently went to a ‘tent healing’ in the hope of witnessing some miracles, but instead found that it was just some more false doctrine being taught.

The ‘ministers’ there then even put all of the responsibility for someone getting healed, or not, solely on the person, removing God completely. Well, to make a long story short, there was absolutely no healing there.  They advertised that those who were sick should come, and come they did, but only to hear a watered down message.

Really, the message was that we all lacked faith in God for our healing and that is the only reason why a person remains sick. What really disturbed me was there was not one single prayer for healing or for the sick.  There was not one person there to pray with someone there that was sick.  No one at all!

Father, if I had gone there while on ‘the fence’ in my walk and/or had taken a sick family member there expecting to receive a miracle, I would have later left there with absolutely no hope in You. I would have also felt guilty as they would have made me feel personally responsible for my continued disability.

I was in complete shock at what I heard being preached there. While both my husband and I had wanted to speak out, You told us to remain silent and that we were only sent there to observe.  During a break, we felt it was time to leave and we did.  We left upset and sad for all the people that continued to sit there in their guilt and disappointment.

While I did not feel You were at work there, I felt that the enemy certainly was. This was no ‘healing tent’ revival at all, but simply a hoax to take money from unsuspecting victims.  I would have been at least a bit impressed if they had even tried for a miracle healing, but nothing happened and nothing was attempted.

Oh Father, the times have surely changed and we are now in a land with no hope in You. I want so much to be strengthened and heal others.  I want to shout to the hills and across the land about Your goodness and Your glory.

However, I know that I am to remain quiet for right now as You have not yet pulled me out of Your quiver. While my heart feels ready, I also know that I can do nothing physically in the way that I am right now.  Right now, all I can do is write about Your love, Your promises and our hope in You.

I feel as strong as ever that ‘our time’ is almost here. I even heard You say twice in the last four days, ‘Erin, the Fall has come…it is here!’  As You never waste Your Words, I feel in my heart that these Words were not just about the change in season.  With the leaves changing color, even I can figure this one out…smiles.

Yes, the change in season is here and I just know that it will be a very cold and difficult winter across our region. I can feel it.  I just know that something is different and that this year will be especially brutal.  Even though it is really hot today, I have an odd chill in my bones that has combined with my continued severe pain.

My heart has also been grieving over so many different things recently. As I drive around our area and go from place to place, I find that most of the people I deal with now are so ‘difficult’.  It is hard to see how the world is becoming, but, really, has already become.

I simply cannot believe the coldness all around us and not just the change in weather. My heart seems to be separating now from the things I used to love.  I now only feel close to those that I love, my family and pets, my friends and, yes, even the animals that roam our property.

This has all happened so quickly. It is truly like my heart no longer feels the same way.  The weather here is to go from a heatwave to cool conditions in the next 24 hours, a drastic change from balmy to cold.  Perhaps this is a sign of the cold days ahead.

While the kids did not ask for any new school clothes this year, I still picked them up a few items. However, I must admit I was a little late in my purchases this year and many things were already picked over at the stores.

I enjoyed going to a few of these stores to look around as it is fun to shop for kids that will be delighted with something ‘unexpected’. However, I now try to not make any purchases via ‘emotions’ these days.

I usually pray before buying something and then the Holy Spirit will prompt me to act as appropriate. This also seems to now be happening with things such as automotive repairs and home maintenance.  God knows how to lead us in both the small and large things, so don’t be afraid to ask Him.

This year, I went to a few different stores in order to purchase school clothes. However, I found very few ‘quality’ items or items made of cotton.  It seems like everything is now made in poor quality synthetics and is extremely thin.  However, even with the poor quality, stores still charge the same and even more than they used to.  It is frustrating.

I went over to the men’s section and noticed that almost all of the men’s clothing was of much better quality than the women’s section, yet at the same or even cheaper prices. I was becoming quite upset when I finally felt the Holy Spirit instill some wisdom in me to get me to settle down…

Holy Spirit: “It is not your imagination, Erin.  Since the male consumer shops infrequently, the clothes are made to endure longer.  However, since the female consumer shops more frequently, the clothes are not made for endurance.  Yes, they are taking advantage of you, but such is the state of the world right now.  You can choose to either accept it or continue to be frustrated.”

I decided to plaster a smile on my face and convinced myself to ‘accept it’. It still was not easy to do this though.  Thank You, Lord, for Your great wisdom and calming Words!  But now where do I go?  Where is good?  The Holy Spirit again spoke to me…

Holy Spirit: “Look for old classics at the plunder stores.”

Me: “Hmm, okay…so, discount stores?  Stores with virtually no teenage customers at all?  Do I go to stores that clear out all of the bankrupt store’s merchandise?”

I decided to do just that. After I arrived at one of these ‘plunder stores’, I found some classics at a bargain price that still had good quality.  I bought a few items and knew that the kids would be happy.  I then felt the Holy Spirit confirm that, once these quality items were cleared out, such items would be increasingly rare.

I feel as if not many people have noticed the rapid decrease in quality and integrity. Sustainability and reliability seem to all be qualities forgotten by everyone but those old enough to remember.  Nothing is made to last.

Well, the only thing left that lasts for an eternity is our relationship with God and our salvation in Him. However, very few are ‘buying’ this anymore.  Well, I feel I have painted a grim picture today, so I apologize.  Sadly, I believe that this sad picture is an accurate picture.  It is painful out here now and I miss so many things…

  • I miss buying a normal warm light bulb, not the blue LED ‘alien’ lights;
  • I miss a great long-lasting cotton sweatshirt with no logo on it;
  • I miss being able to be openly proud of our country without being mocked;
  • I miss going out for a hike, walk or drive and not fearing the evil around me;
  • I miss a time without technology, yet I love technology at the same time;
  • I miss going to church and receiving a word that actually brings life;
  • I miss seeing compassion in people that expect nothing in return; and
  • I miss kind courteous smiling people.

Received on Monday, October 2, 2017 (really cold today – brrrr…)


Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for my family and friends.  Thank You for this place, our hideaway, in these beautiful trees.  Well, the fall has arrived and it is cold outside.  You clearly spoke the following to me two days in a row last week…

Jesus: “Erin, the Fall has begun”

However, I really believe that there is much more to this than just a warning from You on the change in season.

The cold has definitely arrived and we now have frost warnings for the next several days in a row. Just two days ago, on September 30th, 2017, we celebrated the 5th anniversary of receiving the gift of a closer relationship with You in the form of the start of these dreams.

By You, and with You in me as the Holy Spirit, I have been forever changed and I can never thank You enough. However, this is also the time of the year where we are to be especially diligent in coming to You in repentance for our faults.

There are many things that I have failed to do. There are many things that I desire to do, but am no longer physically able to do, as well.  For instance, while I feel like we should still try to observe the Jewish holidays and feasts, I am not very good at doing this either.

I am reminded that Jesus was very stern in Matthew 5:17-20 when He said, ‘I did not come to abolish the Law or the prophets, but come to fulfill them.’ In my heart, I just know that Jesus is actually speaking to all of us here.

He did not come to remove God’s commandments, but rather came as the sacrifice to atone for our sins as the Lamb of God. Jesus is precious and honored in God’s sight.  He was born without spot or stain, which means that He also bore no sin or inequity.

In Israel, the entire nation observed the Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur, on the weekend. This was observed in Israel, and not just by the Jewish people, but also by those who work for them.  Both Leviticus 16 and 23 speak on this.

In contrast, it seems that our nation of America, a supposedly ‘Christian nation’, instead rests more on misinterpretations of the Bible, primarily with Paul’s writings, to simply do as they please. These misinterpretations seem to then lead many away from His commandments, especially those watching the resulting hypocrisy from so-called Christians and wanting nothing to do with them.

Over the years, I have seen many use horrible misinterpretations of Romans 7 to rationalize that we are no longer subject to God’s commandments and laws. I see many well-meaning Christians taking the apostles words out of context and then dividing the Bible into two halves – the Old Testament versus the New Testament.

When the Lord says all of His Words are for our betterment, I surely believe Him. We all should!  If I no longer look to the land of Israel as God’s land, I will then take no interest in blessing them.  If I no longer take an interest in Jesus’ walk and background, then I become lazy and complacent in my prayers and my walk with Him.

With apathy comes dullness and lifelessness. We then become more and more prone to saying, ‘Oh, don’t worry about that sin.  After all, Jesus already died for all of that.  Don’t put Him back on the cross!  We really don’t need to worry about observing ‘this or that’ anymore.’

We become more and more prone to saying, ‘Hmm, I cannot fast today as I have a business lunch. I know I have to repent, but I am busy right now and will do it another day.’  Oh, the excuses after the excuses!  Yes, we are all guilty of this sometimes, but we still REALLY need to get right with God…and NOW!

In reality, this was my life before I started to walk in a close relationship with God. I used to be under the illusion that only the New Testament was valued and that ‘once saved, always saved’ was a recipe for sinning without consequences, either here on Earth or in Heaven.  This was, and is, a very, very slippery slope.

I truly first woke up to myself in the year 2000 and I hated what I saw. This happened just after a friend’s funeral in September 2000 and I realized that I was living for myself and not for God.  Yes, I also was living for my children, but, really, mostly for ‘self’.

Once I came to this conclusion, I began the long difficult journey of separating myself from those things that were a barrier between my heart and God. My life changed.  While it wasn’t instantly changed to where it is now, it was changed instantly, continues to change and in the manner that He feels fit to mold us in.

God systematically began to lead me away from my comfortable place. I had a choice to make – either follow Him or remain a servant and a slave to money and the world.  Thank You, Father, for continuing to work diligently in me even when I slip up.

Looking back, I now realize that His plan was to remove me from those people and things that were keeping me from living in the fullness of what God has in store for me. As Jesus said in His Word…

‘If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me.’ (Matthew 16:24). ‘My Sheep hear My Voice and I know them and they follow Me.’ (John 10:27).  However, there are so, so many other examples of His Words of wisdom there.

Yes, it was a painful process to separate myself from that attitude of ‘Ah, don’t worry about all of that. After all, Jesus paid the price so that we can live free from the Law.’ and ‘Jesus loves you and doesn’t care about your mistakes.  He expects them and He knew in advance that you were going to sin.’

What a load of malarkey! However, this wasn’t just in my thoughts, but was also shared by so many Christians around me and still is.  I just know that this is not what God wants for us.  He wants our hearts, all of our heart, and not just in part.  This means following Him in all things and saying goodbye to the rust and mildew this world offers.

Guiltily, I knew in my heart that these copouts and excuses were just that even as I continued on my way. It then took me even longer to realize that it was really as simple, yet complicated and excruciating, as the following…

‘Ask God and He will answer. If He doesn’t answer ‘on our schedule’, then press in harder.  If He still doesn’t answer, then press in to Him even harder.  If He still doesn’t answer, then fast and pray.  Then wait on Him even more, remembering that His ‘yes’ means ‘yes’, His ‘no’ means ‘no’ and ‘silence’ means…ugh… wait even more!’

How often do we need to do this? For a lifetime!  Repent, repeat, repent, repeat, repent, repeat!  Then start over!  Praise God, give thanks, then repent and repeat, and on and on.  The Bible says that our walk will not be easy, so we need to believe Him when He tells us this.  After all, He never lies!

I also remember all of the many times that I took God for granted. Like so many around me, I became comfortable with the practice of using Scriptures in part and not in whole to rationalize doing whatever I had wanted.  Despite this, God never gave up on me.  Even when I had lost all hope, God still never gave up on me.

To beat this out of me, He then took me to the harsh desert. This was a place of great humiliation, shame, poverty, loss and grief.  This was a place where I began to question everything.  From there, He then took me to an even deeper and drier desert.  From there, He then added a fiery furnace to burn off my dross.

I was soon completely stripped and exposed. I had lost everything I had once enjoyed and was then taught how to no longer ‘long’ for it.  Soon, all I desired was for my children to have a God-centered life and cover.  I prayed for their salvation.

I prayed that I would see them in Heaven. I stopped praying for just myself as much.  Even though I still prayed for myself, and still do as we are supposed to, I prayed for others, but with much greater frequency.

At one point in my walk, in the summer of 2012, I was so low that all I prayed for was another day on Earth. I prayed I would see my children follow God.  I prayed that God would somehow continue to sustain us despite the incredible odds stacked against us.

I no longer prayed for a home, abundant blessings and healing for myself. I simply prayed for ‘just one more day’.  I went from having so much to barely having anything.  I was so low that all that remained was God’s promises for my life.  The importance of big things completely faded away and all I wanted was ‘just one more day’.

Little did I know at that time that God would soon do something truly amazing! He soon started to speak to me through my dreams and visions.  He turned my prayers of anguish into a prayer language similar to ancient Hebrew.  He put a new Spirit in me.

He made me His Bride and hand fed His Words to me. He later would even set up a nest for me and my young near His altar (Psalm 84:3) and later in ‘the land of trees’.  He nurtured me and cared for me.  How can I ever thank Him enough, especially when I now realize that, not only did He do everything He said He would, but so much more?

Yes, while He then allowed me to be injured, He then even used this to remove all of us, including all of my children, to ‘the land of the trees’. Once arriving here, we have had rest.  My children and I truly needed this respite before He heals us and brings us out, so I thank Him for this rest with all of my heart.

Yes, He will soon heal us. He will soon bring us out into a wide open space to be used for His glory, not our glory.  He has done all of this for us and yet we often stumble with His laws and commandments.  He has done all of this for us and yet we often struggle with doing so many things that I know would please Him.

Our nation is one of the richest nations on the planet, yet every day is another day to sin and do as we please. Just imagine if we followed His ways as closely as the Jewish people in Israel, but then combined this with a heart only for Him and His ways.

If we had all practiced the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, as a nation, would He turn and have mercy on us? If we fasted and repented like Nineveh did, would He take the Hand of His coming judgments off of us?

In my heart, I already know the answer as to whether this will ever happen here in this nation. The answers are even clearer in the Bible.  I sighed and decided to take a break.  I turned on the television to find some light entertainment.  Well, that is not what I found…

The stations were abuzz with the news of the largest mass shooting in the nation’s history. Over 50 are dead already and more than 400 injured.  This happened in Las Vegas, Nevada during a country music festival called the ‘Route 91 Harvest Festival’!

This was just too much for me to bear. I prayed for the victims and their families.  I felt numb.  How will we be able to cope with this, and so much more that is coming, unless God soon strengthens us?  Oh please, Lord, may Your ‘soon, very soon’ be today!  I started to weep…

Jesus: “Erin, come up.”

I ran into His arms and started to cry even harder. He pulled me away and looked into my eyes with a gentleness that cannot be measured.

Jesus: “Erin, I am in you, you are in Me and we are one.  Do not worry as I have been separating you from the things around you, but, no, not from your husband or your children.  I have kept you apart because life around you is about to change.  You are anxious, worried and depressed.

“While you are in pain right now, soon, yes, Erin, very soon, I will remove all of this and in a single day, but no, not because I am taking you Home. Since you do not ask for things for yourself, but only for the ability to help others and for the healing of your children, you will see all of this.  This separation period is almost finished.”

Me: “Thank You!  Oh thank You!  Even though I am in pain and tired, I am so ready.  All of us are so ready!”

Dream over…


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