Dream 461 – On Earth as it is in Heaven

Received on Tuesday, December 29, 2020


Dear Father,

I love You!  Thank You for another day.  Thank You for Your love and affection.  Thank You for all that we have.  Thank You for my husband and our children.  Sometimes I get myself into a time warp of self-pity.  However, this really gets me nowhere.  I wake up from a night of dreams and wonder about my life.  Have I lived well?  Did I miss just a few opportunities or many?  Did I travel well on my course?

I complained a lot in the beginning.  I cried a lot too.  It was then that I started to realize that the path You had made for me was going to be brutally more difficult than I had originally imagined.  You gave me a choice to stop along my journey many times.  By a miracle and with Your help, I relented each time and stayed the course.  This was the perfect rocky windy road which led me straight to You.

Father, I am no expert in all things You.  In fact, I know very little.  It is similar to how a child might need to know about their parents.  A child’s job is straightforward – live, grow, play nice with friends, obey their parents, laugh a lot, see wonders, discover new things, eat new foods and venture out.  However, as a child of God, I tried hard to stay close to my Dad instead.  I did not want to boldly go too far on my own.

It made me afraid.  When I would venture out in the beginning apart from God, I ran into trouble.  I would then have to cry out to my Father for a supernatural bailout.  Well, after doing this for about the 100th time, I finally started to learn something.  While I first thought God was on a mountaintop far from me, I started to finally realize that He was there next to me.

Things then became shockingly bad.  Everything which could go wrong was now going wrong.  I was a part of a booming housing industry when it all crashed.  I was a single mom with three small children and I was scared.  I soon discovered that I had a heart condition.  The events in 2004 were just the start of my troubles.  We soon were forced into selling all we had by auction.  I downsized and used that money to fight.

In trying to keep my children, I battled with injustice at the highest level.  My autistic diagnosis for both of my sons drew me to retreat.  I quit venturing out.  I relied on God to help, but He was quiet and we were getting destroyed.  Due to financial difficulties, I couldn’t even find a lawyer to take my case.  My heart soon stopped.  My sons were taken across state lines and my contact was blocked.

I soon felt deserted by God, as well as by my earthly parents.  My so-called friends that said they would help actually came to steal.  The system then turned on me.  Without Heavenly Guidance, I made the crucial mistake of moving to the desert.  It was a place I had never liked being in.  It soon became my personal furnace.  Horrible things were said of me.  Lies were heaped up onto even more lies.

My main enemy knew what he was doing.  He knew he could trap me if I moved into the desert.  He even cleverly helped accommodate my move.  Once the appropriate legal time of my being there elapsed, he had an unfair restraining order issued on me.  Everything was closed and it took awhile for a judge to be around.  Once a judge saw this, it was promptly thrown out.

Father, my heart still breaks at You breaking me.  I was never vindicated.  I was never believed.  Life was never normal.  I was never used.  Never!  In essence, You had sent me into ‘never neverland’!  You essentially cancelled me.  Was I born so wicked that I deserved all of this?  All I wanted was to be with my kids.  My main enemy soon became an expert at destroying me.  He delighted in it.

I have already written of all the things that then happened to me during my trial by fire in the desert.  It never got easier.  I was fighting with my hands tied behind my back and my main enemy was landing haymaker after haymaker.  I couldn’t take it.  I still had faith, but it wasn’t healthy.  I was now having huge trust issues with my Father.  I decided to give God three months.

Here was my thinking.  I will give Him three months to either use me and be a Father to me or I would stop.  I would still believe, but I would completely stop pursuing.  I would stop bugging Him altogether.  I was humiliated now.  I had been destroyed for the last seven years.  Justice alluded me.  It never came.  This was it.  This was the end of my self completely.  This was the death of me.

Any ambitions I had, any hopes or dreams, were all gone.  I had no earthly husband to lean on.  My job was way below my pay grade.  I barely had the means to survive with my kids.  Still, thank You, Father, for all of this.  I still don’t fully understand all of what happened and why it all needed to happen this way, but You did.  You had a plan.  You kept me alive in this furnace of affliction.

I will never fully understand everything here.  However, I know it was for my good.  It was for my kids as well.  We are all together.  Despite my injuries, we are together.  I am so grateful to You for this.  Even though the world is unfair, You ultimately grant us justice.  You vindicate us.  Your recompense to us is brought by You.  You administer repayment for all that has been lost, even if only in Heaven if we don’t see it here.

All I know is that things were hard and then became harder.  The path became impossible on my own.  It was filled with obstacles and scary beasts, giants so large that there is no way I could continue.  Father, You are and will always be bigger than giants.  You are greater than scary beasts.  You are the Remover of obstacles.  Sometimes it takes going on this journey to finally be able to write about it.

I had grand ideas about You coming on a white horse and rescuing us.  However, that was not Your way for then.  I imagined the heroine being saved at the last second.  It never happened how I thought it would.  However, it has all turned out even better than imagined in the end.  It was not easier, but it was better.  My valley of tears was Your Valley of Fountains.  I had a dream last night…

Sub-dream 1 “A house fit for royalty” begins…

I was helping to build a house fit for royalty.  I was gathering all the best textiles.  I was searching everywhere for the finest pieces of stone and other luxurious finishes.  I just knew that this place would be incredibly beautiful once finished.  Royalty would live here.  I overheard the other workers saying that the homeowners were very kind and generous, so it made working for them even better.

All was soon completed.  I checked on everything.  I arranged for the delivery of flowers.  I made sure that all of the finishing touches were complete.  I stood at the entrance of this beautiful estate and waited for the owner.  I waited and waited.  All the workers were now gone.

I looked to the side of the entry and noticed a large envelope.  The envelope was addressed to me.  Usually, bad news came to me in the form of large envelopes, but I opened it anyways.  There were four separate items inside…

First, there was a short note (item 1):

Erin, I have never forgotten all you have endured in pursuit of the Kingdom of Heaven.  I love you.  Your treasure is with Me and My recompense I give to you…Jesus

With this was a large engraved key (item 2):  There were seven birds inlaid with gold and silver.  A small signature was etched into the key.  It read ‘Love, Mom’.

I then noticed a deed to a property (item 3).

A separate short note (item 4) was attached to the deed:

I was never able to give this to you when I was with you.  I was not a good father.  However, I had the honor to oversee this project with the Lord.  Love you, honey…Dad

I broke down in tears.  I turned back to the home I had just been working on to look at it with a different perspective.  This was too wonderful for me!  How could this be?

Sub-dream 1 over…

When I woke up, I was in tears in my sleep.  My pillow was damp.  I went to my chair and thanked God.

Jesus:  “Erin, come up.”

I ran out our front door.  I was still in shock.  I went to the place where the bridge appears.  It was warm today.  I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I turned and it was Raphael.

Raphael:  Smiling.  “Well, you have been on quite a journey today.”

Me:  “Yes.  I am speechless.”

Raphael:  “Hmm, this is rare for you.”  He smiled.  “I have a message from God.”

Me:  “Wait.  Wait!  Please tell this to Him from me first.”  I looked up…

“Father, I am sorry.  I am sorry for all of my testing of You.  Who was I…who am I…to draw a line in the sand?  I love You and I am sorry.  Your Ways are higher.  I am so thankful…so thankful!”

Raphael:  “Yes, it is a beautiful home that He has built for you.”

Me:  “Well, yes, it is.  However, that is not it that I am so thankful for.  Even though my mom and my dad were not on the path to Jesus, they are still here in Heaven.  Jesus met them before they took their last breaths.  While I already knew about mom being here from previous dreams, I still wasn’t clear about dad until this dream.  My earthly dad was a developer.

“He had once promised to invest in a home for me and the kids.  However, once we got the ball in motion, he disappeared and the deal fell through.  After that, he never returned my calls.  He even changed his number.  It hurt…I mean it REALLY hurt.  My children were really disappointed too.  I sometimes wonder if he disappeared because he didn’t like the way my boys acted with Asperger’s.”

Raphael:  “God knew your heart when it came to your dad.  Once you forgave him, it released God’s Grace to meet your dad on his death bed.  Jesus showed him all that he had done.  Your dad then asked for His forgiveness and mercy.  You will see him again one day.  He is grateful and humble.  He prays for you in God’s Courts.”

Me:  “Oh, thank You, Father God…what a wonderful gift this dream was!  Thank You, Raphael, for being here to discuss this dream with me.”

Raphael:  “Did you like the place that has been built for you?”

Me:  “Of course, Raphael!  It is amazing.  However, I am confused.  This did not seem like Heaven.  Where was this?”

Raphael:  “Well, here is the message from God that I was talking about.  Are you ready?”

Me:  “Oh yes, Raphael, I am ready!”

Message from God as spoken through Raphael…

“Erin, God has been with you always.  He is sorry for the brokenness and humiliation you felt.  He knows that it was difficult to be alone in your suffering.  However, you were never alone.  God was with you.  The Lord was next to you.  The Holy Spirit is in you.  The angels were guarding your steps to keep you from stumbling and to keep the enemy from hurting you or your children further.

“Even so, this was all allowed so that you could fully realize a greater plan of God.  He is your Redeemer.  He is your Advocate.  He is your Healer.  He is your Friend.  He is your Creator.  He is the Lover of your soul.  He is never away from you.  Now He sends gifts to His Bride in advance of His coming as is tradition.  There will then be mighty shouts and instruments, as well as bells and horns, as He announces His coming.  Rejoice, Erin, rejoice!”

Me:  “Wow, Raphael, this message from God is amazing!”

Raphael:  Cupping his hand to his ear as if he was listening intently for something in the distance.  “Hmm, I think I hear something!”

Me:  “Really, Raphael?  Do you really?”

Raphael:  “I had better doublecheck.”

The bridge and the door appeared.  As he approached it, he took out his key fob.  I heard the characteristic beep of a door opening.  I shook my head in laugher.

Raphael:  Calling out through the open door.  “Lord?  Is that You?”

I was laughing so hard now.  I realized yet again just how fun Raphael’s humor is.  He then walked through the door.  My view of him was obstructed.  I then heard the sound of a Mighty Horn.

Raphael:  Peeking his head back towards me through the door.  “Well, something is happening!  I have to go, Little Sparrow!”

The door and the bridge were then no longer visible.  The trees then reappeared, along with a couple of sparrows.  I thought it was over, but something then happened that made me start laughing again.  I heard the sound of the beep of the key fob being pressed again.

Dream over…

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