Dream 785 – My Promises are True and My Ways are Higher
Received on Saturday, February 17, 2024
Communion
Dear Father,
Thank You for another day! Let me really thank You sincerely. I am grateful to be here, Father. I am grateful for our Nest friends, our home, our dogs, the animals outside, my children and my husband. Most importantly, I am thankful for You, Father! You are both the Author and the Finisher of my story in my journey here.
Yesterday was a difficult day for me. While I stayed home, it was still a struggle. I cried and cried. I felt a stabbing pain deep in my body. I had no peace. To sit and rest or even lay down, the random pain in parts of my body that never cried out before became too much. As long as I kept moving, the pain faded. I went through boxes of paper that I knew I needed to deal with someday. This felt good.
Each day, I hope to achieve as much as I can physically until I can’t. Father, my neck pains now seem like nothing in comparison. The other things just don’t matter anymore at all. While everyone is at work, it is nice to have the home to myself to putter and pray. I sing, I speak in my prayer language and I cry. I give this day You have given me back to You for Your Divine Purposes. You are better at being God than we are.
When I now walk by my clothing closet, I shake my head and think, ‘I have no use for most of this.’ When I see my shoes, I think, ‘Why do I need most of these?’ Many of these things I have had for years, like beautiful vintage clothing. I remember my trips to Los Angeles CA Fashion Week for buying for my clothing store. I have beautiful hand-woven pieces that I had always hoped to wear someday.
Well, these ‘somedays’ have come and gone and it is literally madness to keep them. This is like torture from the enemy calling out to me, ‘I told you that you would never wear these!’ My next order of business is to let go of these. When mom died, she left her clothes. I kept some of the items that I remembered her by. Up until a couple years ago, they even still had her smell.
It wasn’t the sweaters or the T-shirts that held my interest. It was the memories of her taking me to the Bridge in Sandpoint ID or the Coldwater Creek Store to shop. It was these outings that made me have a connection of something fun with my mom… the perfect day! I now find myself prioritizing what I need to do next, prior to my surgery or our Transformation (whichever comes first).
I decided to start by removing the ‘nevers’ still taking space in my life. Things I ‘never’ wore, projects I ‘never’ completed and books I will ‘never’ likely read… those types of things. I feel like this would bring You joy, Father, and it would streamline my closet and office / craft room. More importantly, it gives my heart a focus other than my current situation. It feels satisfying to give things away. It makes my heart glad.
In essence, it helps to remove my sadness. Well, Father, no matter what happens here, I still cling to Your promises. I remain hopeful as I know You are faithful to the promises You have given all of us. I am still thankful for our trip to Bend OR. It was my favorite time of the year, Fall, and it was so much fun. What a blessing to be able to have gone on this trip. I thank You for this, Lord.
In hindsight, I see the incredible brilliance of You. You told me that I was sick last year and then You moved mountains to prepare everything knowing I would be going through this. The surgeon I have is a brilliant one who was just recently brought to Portland ME. He was brought to the Maine Medical Group in the spring of last year right when You told me that I was ill.
In the last six weeks, I have watched You remove my planned trip with my daughter to Orlando. In its place, I have seen You line up appointment after appointment with great precision. I am not certain how You did this because each appointment seemed to be a miracle in itself. Almost every time, I have heard, ‘We were fully booked for the next few months, but just happen to have a cancellation!’ It has truly been amazing so far.
This assures me that, whatever You are planning, this too will be a miracle. I am then reminded of this… I should not fear my weakness even though I am weakening day-by-day from this. I must instead remember that You, God, are my Strength in weakness. This I know and I am sure of. However, I fear something else. I fear these days when I somehow believe I am strong on my own, these daily moments when the ‘I cans’ come in apart from You.
As a child, I grew up in adversity. I lived in uncertainty so much of my time growing up. I learned to expect trouble and I was hyper alert to it. My mom then often told me that I was just being paranoid. However, if the stuff you are concerned about has happened to you before over and over again, then wouldn’t you also still be hyper diligent and watch for troubles to avoid them? I call this being street smart.
My mom then used logic and probabilities to give me the percentages and statistics so I could logically be at peace. While this would have been great for my husband, this somehow wasn’t a comfort to me. This is because feelings are based on the memory of past trauma or experience and the emotions surrounding these things. What I have learned over the years is that feelings are often just as valid as logic.
Well, Lord, here I am! I surrender all that I am in my weakened state for Your Divine Purposes under Heaven. You have given me advanced directives from the beginning. You have mapped my course and kept me on this path. Along the way, You have rescued me from evil foes and those who would cause me to stumble. You have guided my way and put me on a clear path that has always led to You.
Miracle after miracle, wonders here as they are in Heaven, so many signs… all confirm You are here with us. You showed me what waits for us in Heaven and all You have put together there for us. Even so, this is just a fraction of a fraction of the wonderful things waiting for us there. I am so excited. You gave me a glimpse of our rewards of an eternity with You so that I can keep my focus on You here.
As You well know, Lord, I have been hit with some very bad news about possible bone cancer. This is something even the best doctors can’t remedy, only You, Father. If this is the case, Father, I just know You have a greater way planned for me. While I know all of this is going to hurt in these days to come, I will rely on You to keep me in Your strength. I thank You in advance for Your mercy, love and grace.
Father, I had an amazing dream last night, but I can’t recall it. Maybe You will illuminate this again when it is in Your Perfect Timing. All I know is that I woke up with a huge smile on my face. This dream obviously made me wake up happy.
On a more somber note, something disturbing happened on my way to one of my appointments last week in Houlton ME. I passed a young man carrying a young woman up a snow berm. The snow berm was about three feet high and the young woman appeared to be dead. I was on the phone with my daughter and told her to hold on as I was going to see if ‘they’ needed help. I slowed down to pull in front of the car.
When I did, I locked eyes with the young man. Chills instantly went up and down my spine. He looked at me as if to say, ‘Don’t even think about stopping.’ I then heard Your Voice, Lord, tell me to ‘Drive!’ Well, I certainly didn’t need to be told twice and drive I did. There were then two semi-trucks behind me who passed the scene right after me.
I took the offramp and was now stuck at the stop sign. I was worried that this young man was following me. I then drove straight to the sheriff’s office in Houlton ME and reported what I had seen. It was a scary thing. They told me there were many drug related incidents and that they would see what they could find. After that, I was in shock. The world has become such a horrible place. Lord, please keep us safe.
I then went to my appointment and spoke with my doctor. He had moved up here with his wife and six children from Miami, FL. He told me that they had left Miami because some scary things were happening and he was looking for a safe place. We both remarked that Houlton ME was still safe and the people still kind.
Father, I still have times during the day in which I forget that I have this illness. When it then sinks in… well, please forgive me… but I am still afraid. I am scared. I missed out on some things I had hoped for. Nothing in this life is promised. Nothing is certain. What is certain is that I know where my finish line is and that I won’t be alone. You will take me to the place You have prepared for me. I am so grateful. I receive a lot of messages about Your promises and I know that You will fulfill every one of them.
I am just hoping for a ‘sooner’ miracle to avoid some of the intense pain that I know is coming. While these dreams seem to show that I am Transformed while in some sort of pain, I am still praying it doesn’t become much worse than the pain I am already in now. I am praying for a miracle, a miracle that I already know is coming. I am praying for something so incredible and so God-sized. I love You, Father. Everything about You is perfect, including Your Plan for me and Your Perfect Timing in all things.
Jesus: “Erin, come up!”
He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair. His Voice was very clear.
Jesus: “Erin, I am here and I am with you. Remember… My Voice is in you. I speak tender mercies to you during your day so you know I am here and haven’t forgotten you. I know you are worried and are in pain.”
Me: “Could You please take away my pain, Lord? Could You please heal me?”
Jesus: “My Promises are true and My Ways are higher. This means that I have an eagle’s eye view over your situation. I know all things concerning you. I have sent angels concerning you to guard you in all you do. I have sent your doctors and cleared your schedule. I have created openings for you to receive all of your tests. The doctors are continuing on a fact-finding mission. They gather as much as they are able to before they continue on.”
Me: “Lord, bone cancer as a result of renal cell carcinoma is very bad. I just pray that You do this miracle before I am unable to breathe or even function at all. I am scared, Lord. If it were something I knew more about because my family had a history or something like that, I would feel better. However, with this… well, the doctors wasted no time and all has been immediate.
“Just please, Lord, make this a great miracle so that my children, my husband and his children, my Nest friends and their families, my brothers and their children, my nieces and nephews, so many others too… so no one becomes disheartened and falls away. Please guide my life as it is already Yours. While I know there can be no testimony without a test, this is a hard test for me to face.
“Lord, please don’t let me die a painful death. While I would do this for You if this were the way You chose for me, You said that I would live instead. I therefore cling to Your Promises on this. You are my Lord and my Savior. You are my Prince and I am Your Bride. You are our Prince and we are Your Bride.”
Jesus: “I love you, Erin. I know what it is like to endure pain at the hands of My adversaries. I suffered greatly and for all to bare witness to this. My trials were documented. Even though I knew ultimately the Great Reward that was coming and that the grave could not hold Me, still the night before I wept alone.
“I wept alone and petitioned to My Father in Heaven for another way. However, I knew what was coming and what I would have to endure. Erin, I would do this all again if called to, but my death has already atoned for the sins of man and… well, you know the rest.”
Me: “Yes, Lord. However, this is different. I am just a common woman. I am no one.”
Jesus: “You are not common to Me. You are unique to Me and certainly uncommon in your ways. You have shared My story through your life and this is not over for you. Erin, you are not finished. I am not finished with you. Since God is with you, then nothing shall be impossible for you because I am here. Now, it is okay to grieve. It is okay to have fear. I see your tears.”
Me: “Lord, so many of my ailments have been related to this. I had no idea. Could I have caught this earlier?”
Jesus: “It is I who called you to these doctors. I told you that you were ill. I have put everything in place. Remember that I have already healed your heart (first spiritually and now physically). However, even this is still not complete. The evidence will be overwhelming and all will know I am God in this.
“Now, you are to trust in Me as there are many witnesses and much evidence. Your suffering will yield a great harvest of healing miracles. I have you, Erin, and I am with you in all things. I have sent angels concerning you to guard you in all you do.”
Me: “While I am trying to rest, my sleep is horrible. Lord, can You please grant me sleep? I get waves of panic and then my heart races. I become afraid.”
Jesus: “I know. However, I minister My peace to you, Erin. I am here.”
Me: “I am not ready for any of this, Lord.”
Jesus: “Ready or not, here I come. Sometimes surrendering your life to Me means that I do the unexpected and My Glory reveals My position in this so nothing can be explained other than by the hands of God. This means a miracle by its very definition. Erin, I have never forgotten you. Do you see all that I have done here? I have not brought you this far only to stop now.”
Me: “Yes, Lord, but I am still scared.”
Jesus: “Yes, I know, but give your life to Me for My purposes. I am here with you.”
Dream over…
Previous Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-784/
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