Dream 632 – Our Sorrows will turn into Great Joy

Finished on Sunday, September 11, 2022

Received on Friday, September 9, 2022


Dear Father,

I must speak before You all that is on my heart.  I pray that You do not forget me, Father.  There is a profound and very deep grief in my heart.  It is guttural and goes to the very bones and sinew of my being.  At 10:00pm on Wednesday evening, August 31, 2022, my illness began.  The entire household then became sick.  My husband and my kids have been recovering, but I still struggle with dizziness and shortness of breath.

It has been a battle as my body fought back and forth trying to bring my fever down.  It feels odd to say, but I have been trying to stay warm during a heatwave.  I am also making sure that I stay hydrated.  I have a hard time thinking of another time when I have been so down with an illness.  I even had a breakdown of sorts in front of my children.  They seemed quite concerned and for good reason.

With the news of Queen Elizabeth’s passing yesterday, I have been so profoundly sad.  There has never been a more prominent sign for me than her passing.  I truly feel that this is a great sign for the beginning of something Earth-shattering.  When I found out she was sick, I just knew she would die that same day.  I was sad to see one of the last leaders who stood for Jesus, truth and righteousness leave this world.

I know there is a wonderful celebration in Heaven today and even a Corgi parade in honor of her.  Father, I am thankful that You sent a sign of a double rainbow at the time of her death.  I just never expected to be so affected by her death.  It is just that I now know for sure that this is ‘The Beginning’.  I wish I could sound more optimistic right now, but any effort at all to do so is exhausting to me right now.

I feel as if I have been physically at war.  On Tuesday, September 6, 2022, I had to testify before the Board of Appeals judge for my injury to be reconsidered.  We were told we would likely not have a decision from the judge until sometime in 2023.  How horrible.  This was a difficult process to go through in the middle of an illness.  The stress was exhausting.

Father, please have mercy on me.  Please heal my house and allow me to be healed and strengthened.  I am truly mourning as I watch.  It is like I am experiencing a way of being come to an end.  What is here in this world waiting for all of the good to be removed is truly horrifying.  Father, please strengthen us!  My dream last night was very interesting…

Sub-Dream 1 “An English Woman, Her Dog and a Bright Light” begins…

I was in an area out west.  It was the Pacific Northwest, where the Canadian Rockies meets an area like Central Oregon.  There was clear-cutting being done on a few mountain ranges surrounding a valley containing a resort town.  I needed to find a place to stay with my family.

However, something had caused a sudden rush to book up vacation rentals, homes and motels.  As quickly as I would arrive at a place, it would quickly book up before it finally came to my place in the line.  I was getting tired.  I stopped for gas and asked the attendant for his opinion…

Me:  “Do you know anywhere I can find a place to stay?”

Man:  “You can try the Jenga Place.”

Me:  “Did you say ‘Jenga’?”

Man:  “Yes.  It is a small replica of the Jenga Tower.  You could also try heading up the hill.”

Since the town was so crowded, I decided to head up the mountain.  Since the road had just been cut, it was very gravelly.  I decided to drive extra slowly.  As I drove slowly, a young woman with a walking stick was walking with her dog.  I pulled up next to her.  She had a face completely full of joy.  Even her dog had a radiant smile.  I pulled up next to her and rolled down my window.

Me:  “Pardon me, but do you know where I can find lodging?”

Her face glowed and she spoke in an English accent.

Woman:  “Everything you need now is straight ahead and around the bend.”

Me:  “Thank you.”

She and her dog seemed so familiar to me.  I wanted to wave at her when I saw her in my rearview mirror, but she was no longer there.  I stopped the car and got out.

Me:  “Hello?  Hello?  Where are you?”

She was gone!  I decided to continue drive straight up the hill just as she had instructed me.  When I turned the bend, also as instructed by her, I became curious about what she meant by ‘everything I would need’ would be around the bend.  As I rounded the bend, I saw a stunning light.  It was a bright clean light.  It was a light even brighter than the sun!  This Light took my breath away, but only in the best of ways!

Sub-Dream 1 over…

Me:  “Father, was that Queen Elizabeth in my dream?”

Jesus:  “Erin, come up!”

He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair.  His Voice was very clear.

Jesus:  “I’m here, Erin.  Here I am.  I am with you.  I have been here all along even when you believe I left you.  I did not.”

Me:  Crying.  “To date in my whole life, I can’t remember a more helpless feeling.  There is nothing I can do to stop what is coming.  No one can stop this but You, but I know You won’t as You created all of this for Your purposes.  It will unfold as You see fit and no one can stop it.  For this, I am glad… and even in my sorrow.”

Jesus:  “I am here.  Do not worry.  I delight in you, Erin.  Your heart remains childlike and fixed on Me and the business of Heaven.  You have not wavered.  However, as time has continued, you have questioned your place.  I did not change this.  My promises remain true.  I remain true.  I am the same God who is with you in the storms.  However, I am not just with you, I am also with all of those that I love and who remain in Me.  I am sorry you felt no comfort this last week.  I know you were upset with Me.”

Me:  “No, Lord.  I thought You had forsaken me.  I was just so, so sad.”

Jesus:  “Erin, I am with you aways.  You have been weathering a great storm and troubles have come to your home.  However, I promised I would be with you and I have kept My promises.  I didn’t abandon you nor did I abandon your children.”

Me:  “But why let illness come at all, especially now and to such a great degree?”

Jesus:  “What better time is there?  I never said that illness would never come near your house.  However, I did say that I would be there to deliver you through this.  By experiencing this, you learned the seriousness of what many have had to endure at the hands of evil.  I will now turn and heal you with great strength.”

Me:  “I just thought we had managed to get through all this with very little illness.  While this is our third bout of it, I have been hit the hardest and I am still not finished with it.  I have been so deeply depressed, Lord.  I missed my brain tumor appointment.  I missed my stepdaughter’s ‘last’ first day of school.  It has been so beautiful outside and I can’t enjoy it.  Now, what was my dream about?  Who was the English woman in my dream?”

Jesus:  “Erin, you are feeling sorry for yourself.  While you have not been sick quite like this before, you are now finished with this illness.  I will strengthen you.”

Me:  “Lord, more than this though, I have been severely sad.  I have had sorrow unlike anything I have ever experienced.  Something is off in my Spirit and I need Your help.”

Jesus:  “I gave you another dream.  Do you remember it?”

Me:  “Yes…

Sub-Dream 2 “Velvet Rain Boots” begins…

I was shopping for new shoes.  In specific, I was shopping for velvet rain boots.  In this dream, I fully realized that velvet and rain together made no sense.  Earlier that day, I had gone to feed the animals, but my rubber boots were covered in a massive spider web.  I found the spider and it was large.  When I found all of this, I no longer wanted my normal rubber boots.  I instead wanted velvet rain boots.

Sub-Dream 2 over…

Jesus:  “Shopping for shoes is a good dream.  The other dream was a good one too.  Think carefully about the first dream.  This is also a sign of good things ahead.  To the victor goes the spoils.  Now rejoice, Erin, rejoice, rest and recover.  I am with you.  Your battle is almost finished.  Do not be so downcast.  I tell you the truth… there is a great celebration in Heaven… yesterday, today and tomorrow.

“Erin, this is the Year of My Favor and the celebration has begun.  Legions of Heavenly angels were called upon the grieving nations to send signs, wonders and soon miracles.  My promise was sent across the sky and even a double portion.  It went right over the Memorial of Truth and Justice and Victory.  What you cannot see, but feel in your Spirit, is grieving for something lost that you do not understand.”

Me:  “Yes, Lord.  This makes perfect sense to me, yet it also makes no sense to me.  There was some sort of atmospheric shift.  One realm closed and another opened.  Something happened that I can’t explain.  I have had great sorrow ever since.  I am not in love with this world at all anymore.  I am grieving the loss of promise, the promise of something once good and innocent.  As of now, I just don’t know.”

Jesus:  “Erin, there are still many who seek My face and long for the Kingdom of Heaven.  All is not lost.  My favor is upon the righteous.  When you are faced with turning points in your walk and someone encourages you to keep going a little longer, then this is good.  This means you are close to your destination.  Take comfort in these things as nothing this world has to offer compares to Me, My Kingdom of Heaven and the people I send your way along your journey.  You are deeply troubled right now.”

Me:  “Yes, Lord.  This is like a punch to my gut.”

Jesus:  “This is because your Spirit, My Spirit in you, your earthen vessel, is wearing down.  Erin, this is what you are experiencing.  I have gathered your family and friends near you so you can spend time with them on things that matter.  I am with you.”

Me:  “Lord, I sometimes write and I am not sure where You are taking me.  I love You, Lord, so I will trust in Your plans.”

Jesus:  “Good!  My plans are to grant you hope and a future.”

Received on Saturday, September 10, 2022


Dear Father,

Something is wrong with me.  I have been grieving all morning.  I am still week and dizzy and feeling such a sense of loss.  The leaves here are finally beginning to turn.  However, this is very late this year.  Another season comes, another passes, lost again and not revisited until a new year begins.  Father, please don’t forget about Your people here.  I know we are just passing through in this life.

Some are here for only a short period and some are here for a very long time.  Each one of us has been called for a purpose here.  Many of us never see while we reside here what that purpose is until the end of our journey finally arrives.  Perhaps our purpose was to have children and raise them under God.  Perhaps it was just to make a difference in the life of someone for only a season or two and then they move on to a different plan of God.

We don’t know everything or even much of anything.  We just don’t.  Illness brought me to the realization that, apart from God, my body will only stand when God deems it necessary.  God then grants me strength and endurance to make it through difficulties.  For some of those living in misery, He comes and gathers them to Heaven for eternity.  While my dream last night took place in a similar setting as my dream in the night before, our home was now at the center point…

Sub-Dream 3 “A Hotel Home on a High Hill” begins…

Our home was situated on a very high hill.  Many people were coming to stay there.  People were parked on our land and there was no place for us to even park.  Since barely anyone there knew we were the owners, they were aggressive in keeping us away from parking spots.  We remained quiet and said very little.  Our home had expanded into a home with many rooms.  It was now almost like a hotel.

Sub-Dream 3 over…

Father, what is happening right now?  I need You.  I am so broken.  Something is stirring within my soul and I need Your help.  I can’t stop this unsettled spirit within me.  Perhaps this illness is so bad that it first attacks your physical body.  After it weakens you, perhaps it then attacks your mental health.

At a time of the year that I am usually the most joyful and full of energy, I am instead lacking the desire to do anything that brings me joy.  Oh Father, please jumpstart me back into life.  Breathe a new Spirit into me.  Strengthen me and bring me joy so that my joy is complete.  Just walking for 15 minutes causes my chest to hurt.

Me:  “Oh Father, please help us soon!  We are all desperately seeking You now.”

Jesus:  “Erin, come up!”

He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair.  His Voice was very clear.

Jesus:  “Erin, I am here and I am with you.  This is not the end.  You are downcast and you are feeling hopeless.  However, do not be this way.”

Me:  “Oh Lord, I have never been this sick.  I am not coming out of this.  Please have mercy on me.  Please.”

Jesus:  “Trust Me, Erin.  I love you.”

Me:  “Lord, my heart breaks.  I have been experiencing such pain and grief.  Please heal me.  Please heal my heart.  Please also heal my dog, Zoey.  She cannot see now and it is so difficult to watch my dog that has always been there for me now suffer.  I can’t imagine life without my precious Zoey.  What a gift she has been to me, a gift from You.  Oh Lord, please heal her and make her young again!”

Jesus:  “I know you are familiar with sorrows.  I know these losses are difficult here because all of life here is temporary.  It is short.  As a result, people tend to only think in terms of this life and all of the pain associated with it.  You are to instead think of all that I have done for you from the beginning to the end.  Rejoice in what I have promised for you.  You had not anticipated this illness, so you are now very downcast.  This is because your body is not doing all that you want it to.”

Me:  “Not at all.  Oh Lord, I give my Vessel fully to You and You alone!”

Jesus:  “I will take it!”

Received on Sunday, September 11, 2022


Dear Father,

Today is the 21st Anniversary of the 9/11, 2001 Massacre…

Thank You for this stunningly beautiful fall day.  The leaves are beginning to turn.  Even though summer hasn’t officially ended, fall has come.  There is a sense in my spirit of ‘what’s next?’  I feel this way even though I have no big plans or events on the horizon.  I am not even imagining what I could be doing healed anymore.  My childlike wonder is lost somewhere right now and I just can’t seem to get it back.

I am also struggling to breathe deeply right now.  My chest is heavy and my walking takes great effort.  Please, Father, have mercy on Your daughter.  Return my health to no less than what it was before I recently fell ill.  At least I would no longer be downcast.  I had a dream last night…

Sub-Dream 4 “Missing Keys and a Sugary White-sand Beach” begins…

While I needed to get somewhere soon, I didn’t have the right set of keys to start my car.  No matter where I looked, none of the keys I had found would work to start my car.  I finally phoned my husband and he brought me a different purse with several keys.  He couldn’t stay long though as he had an urgent appointment.  I went through these keys as well, but none of them worked.

I decided to leave my car and pick up my children on foot.  My oldest son was 7, my younger son was 5 and my daughter was 3 (the ages they were back in 2004).  We walked to the end of a small road.  When we arrived, we heard laughter.  Activities were taking place.  When we came to the end of the road, we joyfully realized that it was actually just the beginning.

There was a massive, extremely wide and deep beach with white sand the consistency of sugar.  There were many people there.  My children were laughing and playing.  Everyone there had so much joy.  As far as my eyes could see, it was beautiful white sand.  The day was beautiful.  The day was just perfect.

Sub-Dream 4 over…

Oh Father, so much has happened over the years.  Time has accelerated.  9/11 in 2001 seems like yesterday still, yet it is 21 years ago now.  My parents have passed away.  We have lost others since then.  Friends have had children.  We have grown older.  Dreams have risen and fallen.  Money has come and gone.  Health has faded.  The number of my Nest friends have multiplied wonderfully!

Me:  “Oh Father, I am so thankful to You.  Please restore my childlike wonder!”

Jesus:  “Erin, come up!”

He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair.  His Voice was very clear.

Jesus:  “Erin, I am here and I am with you.  This soon shall pass.  You still have things to accomplish here.  These feelings of pain and sorrow will soon fade away.  Get out and find joy today.”

Me:  “Lord, this deep mourning I am going through is horrible.  I can’t seem to recover fully from it.  It must be supernatural.”

Jesus:  “This is an illness like no other before it.  It attacks every portion of weakness in your body.  It is an analogy for the strategies of the enemy.  It was created by man to do even more… to create suffering and even to kill.  While this has harmed many people, it is still not a surprise to Me.  Heaven is now busy with activities and great celebrations.  As the world mourns, Heaven rejoices.

“Remember that, in eternity, you are more alive than here.  You have no care of death as death does not exist where you reside in Heaven.  I will remind you of your place there as your lungs are free from heaviness and you can breathe deeply.  Your laughter will increase as so many things delight you and bring you great joy.  You do not mourn there.  You instead praise God in all things as you delight in what He has built for you near His Altar.

“Erin, I know you are afraid right now.  While the enemy delights in your fear, do not be afraid for anything.  This is because I am always with you.  Like those I have called before you, you are going through the deep mourning of knowing that one way is finished.  Erin, one road is complete and therein lies another one.  Just up the road a bit and around the bend is a new road, freshly cut and not yet graded.  It leads to somewhere higher than you are now.”

Me:  “Oh Lord, I feel so separated from the things around me now.  They no longer matter to me at all.  The only things that matter to me now are my family, my friends and my animals.”

Jesus:  “Yes, Erin.  I am preparing your heart.  Finish that which you have left.  It will give you purpose.  Send some notes to friends, ones that you have been putting off.  Prepare your home for the winter months.  There is a reason for all of this.  As for today, enjoy it.  Erin, you are rested.  Enjoy this beautiful day I have made.  Let it be clear that I love you.  Let it be clear that I will restore your joy.  Do not worry.  I have you.”

Dream over…

Next Dream:  http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-633/

Previous Dream:  http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-631/

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