Dream 680 – SparrowCloud9

Dream 680 – Golfing with my eyes closed

Received on Friday, March 24, 2023

Communion

Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for just one more day. This is one more day closer to when You will say, ‘Your time here is complete for My purposes.’ Through my mistakes and Your gentle instructions, I have a purpose. Well, that is if I learn from my mistakes. In reality, I usually learn more from my mistakes than I do from my successes.

The journey was in my struggles and all of the troubles I went through to achieve my goals. However, every great success that ‘I’ achieved was short-lived and very unsatisfying. Somewhere buried in the boxes I have are banners, ribbons, newspaper articles and certificates of achievement. As for any trophies, they were all sold years ago. These tell a story that I worked hard at something and I finished it.

I was recognized above my peers for some things. I have these records of things completed. In contrast, I have essentially no record of the failed attempts, the almosts, the third-place finishes, the consolation prizes or the honorable mentions. That being said, I certainly have personal stories related to each of these. These are the things ‘I’ have done. Still, these were also merely a chasing.

I worked so hard on a college degree that was almost stolen from me. While I still received my degree, I was robbed of my opportunity because some students witnessed an attack on me. Their parents, all wealthy alumni, made phone calls. I discovered it when suddenly I was thrust into a big investigation. I had to participate in this because I was the victim.

This day I was victimized in front of witnesses essentially defined so many outcomes related to my hopes and shattered dreams. Suddenly, I was no longer being featured in the Senior Art Exhibit for Fine Arts. I could no longer complete my degree as I had hoped. It was instead switched over in order to make others feel more comfortable. The victim, me, was once again victimized in this biased system.

I was then passed over again and again. I was not taken by the coach for the golf team. I had worked so very hard to play golf as a career, but it was finished. It was a horrible final year. I spiraled downward. All my cares didn’t matter in the end. I was angry. My self-worth plummeted. Father, I didn’t know You yet. How could I possibly achieve anything of true value with You? Well, I really couldn’t.

I was so empty. I remember being told that I was a great instructor, especially with children. When I was a recreation assistant for the handicapped, it involved so much variety and so many degrees of instruction. One fun impossible activity was to instruct blind youths on how to golf. I remember having to describe what things looked like so he could have a visual idea based on my description of where to aim.

It took a lot of trust in the instructor’s ability to explain where the ball was going. They also had to trust me to line up everything for them. They had to trust fully in me for their outcome. I was amazed at how many actually hit their targets. The joy and excitement of these children and their parents was something etched on my heart. This happened even though I was not yet a Christian.

I learned as much from these blind kids as they did from me. I now see a similarity on learning how to trust God with ‘blind trust’. This is trusting in Him even though you have no visual idea of what this entails. This was a reward with no physical trophy. When I was physically at my peak in golf, I had taken the lessons I had learned from the blind and applied it. On certain shots, I would actually hit the ball with my eyes closed.

I found out that, on average, I could often hit better with my eyes closed. I used this same technique for putting on the greens. I went only by feel and visualization. Still, how can someone who was born with no sight ask me to describe the golf green and what everything looked like. What was their reference point? One of the blind boys told me this…

Blind boy: “I know when the sun shines because I can feel the warmth. I know when there are clouds because the warmth then hides. I know when it is about to rain. This is because it smells differently. Rain has a distinct smell.”

The value from these words is immeasurable. Father, thank You for this reminder of Your amazing grace and love. That summer was really amazing. It was here when I got a great glimpse of patience, especially with autistic children. Little did I know that one day I would have two of my own. I am grateful Asperger’s is a mild form of autism.

I didn’t grow up patient. When I was small, I was around adults who medicated themselves with things of the world (narcotics). This selfishness made it so my brothers and I were forced to be patient for hours as we waited for these adults to get it back together. They were often wasted. I simply don’t know how the angels can watch us without either being extremely bored or very disgusted. I had a dream last night…

Sub-Dream 1 “Foggy eyesight unless there are tears” begins…

While going through my daily routine, my eyesight became very foggy. It felt like everything was dimly lit. No matter what I did, nothing helped me to see more clearly. I sat down and began to cry. I then cried out to You. My eyes were now filled with tears. Something strange then happened… I once again could see clearly, but only when I looked through my tears.

Sub-Dream 1 over…

Father, I pray I never take You for granted. I am sorry for feeling sorry for myself when I think of all that could have been. So many of my dreams were stolen. My rivals were so often placed higher than me. They received so many awards that I didn’t. That is why I keep my achievements in boxes. These are painful. However, the things that have no record, no earthly reward and no personal accolades are the true prizes.

Father, You saved me from a horrible outcome yesterday. You saved my life. I am sorry for my dim outlook when I know You have something great ahead for us. We can’t see it, so we imagine it. One day soon, we will receive Your great promises to us. How great and priceless is that reward for all this trouble. Lord, please help me see.

Jesus: “Erin, come up!”

He once again spoke to me while I sat in my devotional chair. His Voice was very clear.

Jesus: “Erin, I am here and I am with you. Now, the angels of God are never bored. Of this, I can assure you. As for Me spending time with you, I have never wished I had done something else instead. I am patient beyond anyone’s understanding.

“If I wasn’t patient, I would have finished everything 2000 years ago. I could have then relaxed as I would have been done with My work. Looking after the people of God takes work. Did you become impatient with the blind children you worked with faster than if they had sight?”

Me: “No, not at all. I had more compassion on the blind as they could not make themselves ‘unblind’ in order to see.”

Jesus: “Does this mean it is harder to have patience with those who have all of their senses, including sight?”

Me: “Yes, Lord. This is because they have no real excuse. However, this thought is now convicting me. Lord, I must confess that I have no good excuse for failing. I am capable. I should always be functioning as someone who sees.”

Jesus: “You have learned a great deal today. When you were young, you had many ambitions. To achieve these, you became foolish and self-serving. You never saw yourself actually achieving the goals you sought to attain. This is because so many cursed you by saying it was unlikely, improbable or impossible for you to reach your goals. To prove them wrong, you then strived even harder for these.

“You had hopes that, if you did everything according to you plans, something great would happen. You had hopes until all was lost. After this, both your faith and your hope were gone. The enemy had a great victory and even sought your life. He encouraged you to take your own life. This is how the enemy attempts his ‘great harvest of souls’.

“Instead, I was with you. While I was not as I am now, I was still there. I had a lofty plan for you even though all you had planned was lost. Not long after you were saved, you had to die to yourself. You had to cast off the former things. You passed over your dreams of golf as a career, among other things.

“You surrendered so many things as being part of your past. You then took a short detour to replace these ambitions with material pursuits and attaining recognition for yourself. You discovered quickly how jealous people became when you then succeeded. This was not a beneficial way for you to follow the plans I had for you.”

Me: “I became arrogant as a Christian. My business was half Christian only. I only let You in half the time. I was a fool, Lord… 23 years removed.”

Jesus: “Well, it took a lot of time and it was painful. The losses came in like a flood and you lost all you had worked so hard for.”

Me: “But at least I had my children.”

Jesus: “While the enemy also petitioned for their deaths, this would not have been beneficial for My plans for you. I know this journey has been a difficult one. It has been a long hard struggle. However, I want you to remember that I give sight to the blind. Although you could not see into the picture the blind boy had created from your description of where he was swinging his target to, I let him see it. Your description was flawless and the blind boy could see where you wanted him to swing the ball.

“Now, Erin, I am with you. I have told you to trust in My promises to you and to trust Me in all things. Even though you cannot see the outcome, you trust in the Voice who says it is good. I promise to lead you. I promised you good things here and even better in Heaven. You must cast your cares away from things of this world. You must trust Me to deliver you to a good place. Do you see it?”

Me: Crying. “Yes, Lord. That golf green is beautiful ahead. It is amazingly perfect.”

Jesus: “Yes, but there is even more. I have given you the best equipment for your shot. I have told you that I have made the conditions perfect. The day is what I have made it. I have told you in advance that, even though you can’t see where the ball lands, the outcome, the place it ends up, will be perfect and nothing you ever imagined. If this is guaranteed by Me, what are you worried about?”

Me: “Pulling the shot. Blocking it. Pushing it. Missing it all together.”

Jesus: “Yes. However, I am your Instructor and Friend. I will remove these doubts. I am here. Trust Me. You have nothing to lose. You have already lost; but, then again, lost is advantageous if it means finding Me. Focus on Me and I promise you a greater outcome than you could ever imagine.

“Erin, turn to Me with your doubts. I can hear them. Before you doubt, I will correct you. I will keep your eyes set on only that which I call you to, understand? You will be given a new set of eyes that can see in a way you never thought possible. Now close your eyes and tell Me what you smell.”

I had the window open. The sky was blue. I closed my eyes to smell.

Me: “Lord, I can smell the fresh snow. Hmm, I can also hear the stream. There is also a tiny songbird singing.”

Jesus: “Hold on here… I asked you about smell.”

Me: “Sorry, Lord. I was excited. I had been accidentally ignoring these sounds, so when I then noticed them…”

I stopped and sighed at the fact I didn’t follow His clear instructions.

Jesus: “Focus on lovely things. I will direct your ways. I have always been there for you, both in your failures and in your successes. However, and more than this, it has all been for My purposes, for My Perfect Plans, for you. Now, rejoice, Erin, as God is with you. I am here. Trust My promises. I will watch over you in all things.”

Dream over…

Next Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-681/

Previous Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-679/