Dream 361 – Jesus and hope even in disappointment
Received Sunday, October 6, 2019
It is cold here! Thank You for this beautiful fall day. Father, I am thankful for all that we have. I am thankful for Your love and sustaining power. I just love You! Last week was filled with crushing blows. Our hearts are broken. The last forty days since August has been a time of great build up. It has been both exciting and scary at the same time. It has also been costly. A door was presented and, as You instructed us to, we stepped through it. When the bad news came, I had this vision…
Short vision begins…
We were walking down an endless hallway after stepping through this open door. There were no doors open to step into and no turns to the left or to the right. We could only go forward and backward. We then met the end.
Short vision over…
Clarifying comment: In this short vision, I wanted to elaborate on what I meant by “We then met the end”. This meant we could no longer go any further without the Lord doing something miraculous. We were at the end of the hallway, but it was a wall without a door. In other words, the next move is God’s to create the perfect door. We are at the end of the hallway. At the same time, we also knew that we were not to go back and try a different door. We were to wait on Him. I feel that this is where we are today.
Oh Father, this has been so hard. I witnessed my husband with a look of defeat and tears, a rare sight. It was devastating for us. We then had to break the news to our kids. Two were not fazed and they quickly went to comfort him. Two were noticeably upset and crushed. One was in shock. There were questions. There were things said in frustration. All in all, we got through it.
I reminded our children that You, Father, have fulfilled our promises, just not in the way or the timing any of us expected. Father, please show us what we should do and how we should do it. Please open more doors for my husband so that he remains hopeful. If it were just me, I could manage wherever You would lead me, but this whole thing has been brutal because there are now more questions than answers.
It is hard to rest and be at peace in the midst of uncertainty and disappointment. Add all of this together with the severe cold which hit the area suddenly and it is a bit overwhelming. I began to question if I missed something. While there are to be no new tests, this felt like an all-out war. Father, please help. My body hurts, but also my heart as well. Father, I am scared!
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
I saw Jesus at the end of the aspen grove path. His horse was next to Him and He was holding the reins again. I noticed that He was standing at the end of the gold paver path today. The path was lined with aspens. He was in a beautiful robe with a glorious crown. The light of God shined all around Him. His horse was dressed in royal regalia and his mane was braided.
I looked at what I was wearing. I was in a linen smock and pants, not a dress fitting for the occasion. My eyes then became fixed on Jesus. He smiled at me with His beautiful, perfect teeth. He had a sash of deep blue velvet with tassels. The color was simply amazing. As I drew near to Him, I decided to stop and curtsy.
Me: “If it pleases my King, may I approach?”
Jesus: Smiling. “Yes, Erin. I called to you.”
I didn’t have to be told twice. I ran and jumped into His arms. He held me as I cried.
Jesus: “I am here, Erin, I am here. I am with you, so do not be afraid. You will suffer no shame. I know that you have had a difficult time recently. Well, as you see it, really for most of your journey. However, always remember that I hold these to My horse.” He held up the reins. He then smiled. “Now, he could go rogue at anytime here. Look at him.”
His horse looked at Him out of his right eye and moved his head up and down in agreement. I could tell they were joking around with each other. It was amazing to see.
Me: Smiling. “Are You trying to make me laugh, Lord?”
Jesus: “Yes. Did this work?”
Me: Now laughing. Being in His presence removes all burdens. “Well, yes, it did!”
Jesus: “Hmm, I am still not convinced. Erin, I know that you are discouraged, but do not be. I once called the man your husband is interacting with ‘a type of gatekeeper’ (He was referring to our contact at the recruiting firm). This is still true. Your husband would not have entered into the presence of this gatekeeper without being called for a reason. Now, what did you discover there?”
Me: “More opportunities.”
Jesus: “Yes. Even though one door has closed, see if more do not present themselves.”
Me: “Lord, this is all well and good, but the process is long. I have no idea if three more months of another process will amount to even more disappointment.”
Jesus: “Hmm, okay, so does all of this hurt so much that it is better not to try?”
Me: “No. We will keep going as, ultimately, you are in control of all things. I just…” I struggled to finish my sentence. I sighed instead.
Jesus: “Erin, I understand. All of you were excited.”
Me: “Yes. Everyone was excited about new opportunities and all of us being in the northwest again. I had hoped to be nearer to my doctors. There was so much joy and laughter. Now there is tears, silence and shock. On top of all of this, a close friend has decided that she no longer wants anything to do with me. This hurts as I tried my best in my limited capacity to be a friend to her and comfort her.”
Jesus: “I know, Erin. It has been difficult. I know what it is like to be rejected by friends. While this is true, Erin, remember that I am still here. I know it is difficult to understand My ways, but know this…I have not failed you yet. When you were at your church service last night, I gave you a vision. It was a promise to prosper you and give you hope and a future.
“You will look back at all of this and stand amazed. However, for now, I am fulfilling the plans of My Father. There are more hearts at stake, understand? I have you. Now, I have sent help. Those who bless you, I will bless abundantly more. Erin, you must not worry.” He smiled as He good-naturedly nudged me.
Me: “Lord, why are You dressed so formally? Your crown is beautiful.”
Jesus: “I dressed for you.”
Me: Smiling. “What? Really? Look at me. I am ‘underdressed’?”
Jesus: “No, you are not. Not to Me. Very soon, you will know more, but, for now, do not worry when evil men seem to succeed. Their success will be short lived. Do not become discouraged by the bad news and reports. Much of this is untrue. Soon, Erin, very soon, I will show My splendor and make right the wrongs of the wicked. I came to set the captives free and I will soon come to judge the nations. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess. You will see this and be amazed. Now, continue on your course.” He smiled. “I am with you!”
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