Dream 505 – I will turn your mourning into dancing
Received on Sunday, July 18, 2021
Today is the 9th of Av, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar. This day is referred to as Tisha B’Av. In just 6 days, it will be the 15th of Av, the happiest day in the Jewish calendar (along with Yom Kippur). This day is referred to as Tu B’Av and is celebrated by the Jewish people as an excellent day for weddings, a sort of Valentine’s Day. However, there is much more to both of these dates that is worth researching.
Communion
Dear Father,
Thank You for another day here! Thank You for four more days with my daughter. Thank You for all that You have done from the beginning to the end. I love You, Father. Following You has made our journey in this world difficult. There is never a dull moment even in the waiting. Through all of our troubles, afflictions and failures, You are there. You pick us up and set our feet on solid Rock, our Firm Foundation.
I haven’t been well for some time. My body doesn’t recover quickly anymore. It seems that I just don’t heal anymore. I am weak. I am still upset about having to soon say goodbye to my daughter. I will no longer have her here near me to encourage me daily that You are always with us. In some ways, she has been my reason to keep going, a measure of joy and laughter, a welcomed constant source of optimism.
When she leaves, so too will be this daily spark from her. This is always a joyful spark. Since she was born, she has always kept me on my path. In contrast, my two sons with autism do not behave toward me with a great heart connection. They try at times, but it is difficult for them. While I know that my daughter and I can still communicate in different ways thanks to technology, it is never the same as being nearby. The warmth of her embrace is simply irreplaceable.
We have spent the last several days preparing our house for what is coming. I have packed away souvenirs of my journey in the desert and here in the trees. We are doing all that You have asked of us, Father. My daughter is applying to a Christian university out west and is waiting to hear back from them. She is hopeful that she will hear from them before she leaves on Thursday.
She is preparing for a long time away. I am struggling to see her room emptying out. When packing my own items, some destined for charity, I see so many things I thought I was saving for my daughter. Some were drafting and art materials that I could never use after my injury. As for her current college, this will likely be cancelled once her next plan is finalized.
I am not sure that it is wise to get rid of everything as there is still a chance or hope that she might return one day. In contrast to when I was age 18, there was no longer a place for me to return to. My things were removed and any memories of me was gone. My mom quickly moved on with her new life. All in all, my mom was a detached parent. In so many ways, this reflected her own impersonal upbringing.
Father, You are preparing me for a difficult portion of my journey… letting go of my little sparrow, the one who has always been with me. This is the little girl You used so many times to keep me fighting for my sons and our future. Still, I don’t blame her. Her life here in the land of the trees has been both heartbreaking and confounding. Selfishly, I was hoping her time here would have been better so that she would stay.
On top of all of this, I now fully realize that You are using my daughter to move us. This is an impossible task without You. It is particularly difficult now as I have allowed myself to take root here. I thought we would have moved because of my husband’s job situation, but the move never came. He has had no success despite sending out a few hundred resumes. Only four of these came to anything and he finished second twice.
Well, Father, my husband and I are following not long after my daughter leaves. We are going back west to see whatever it is that You want us to see. While nothing is possible for us alone, nothing is impossible for us with You. Still, there are giants in the land and I am scared. I am scared even though I fully know that You are bigger than any giant. Because of our trust in You, we are going straight into the heart of it all.
Despite this, I still have a request. I am in great pain. My body is visibly bruised. My foot is not healing. I am not well. Lord, would You be willing to heal me and strengthen me for this journey? Even the spies sent into the Promised Land were strong men. As of today, all of this is beyond what I am capable of. Perhaps the greatest giant I face is myself. Please prepare my body. My heart is willing, but my flesh is weak.
Sub-dream 1 “A repeating vision of His safety net” begins…
For everyday of the last week, I have been receiving a pop-up reel, a vision, as in a movie. I am climbing the ladder and the evil dragons are on both sides of me. There is utter darkness as they spew lies about me. I finally reached the top and went through a porthole. Once I crawled up over the top, I was now a toddler and barely able to walk. I then saw Jesus. I clumsily walked over to Him and He reached His arms around me.
I was then lifted safely into His arms. I then rested my head on Jesus’ shoulder. The warmth of the sun made my cheeks glow. I was now safe in my Father’s arms. Even though He continued to conduct His business, He kept hold of me. I could feel the beating of His heart. I knew that nothing could touch me as long as I rested in Him. He was glad to see me… well, He always is. He is the Joy of my heart!
Sub-dream 1 over…
Oh Father, I will trust in Your plans, even when I don’t see it unfolding how I had hoped it would. Please help me continue my tasks, especially now that You are calling us out. Please forgive my doubts. I should have expected this really as I know that following You often comes with radical changes. You are an awesome God, worthy of all of our praises and worship. Father, I will continue to follow You and You alone.
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
Note: In the following, you will notice reference to a fish my daughter owns. This is a Beta fish that is named ‘Heaven’. Please keep this in mind when they discuss Heaven below. Sometimes it is the literal Heaven and sometimes it is the fish named Heaven.
I heard a knock at my door. Due to my foot, I was slow to answer. When I turned the corner, no one was there. I went to the door and there was a package on the step. I laughed when I saw that it was addressed to the angel Raphael. I laughed harder when I saw that it was from the ‘Acme Water Company’.
Me: “Acme Water Company? This is too funny.”
I walked over to the stream while carrying the package. I then saw Raphael in the distance. He was bending down and observing the water. When I got closer, he addressed me without turning around towards me.
Raphael: “Hmm, did the water test kit arrive?”
Me: “Yes. However, why would an angel of God’s Army need a water test kit?”
Raphael: “Well, as you know, there was an epic storm. Water feeds in here from many sources. It sometimes takes only one bad source to ruin the quality of the water.”
Me: “Yes, but you can easily clear it by using God’s directive.”
Raphael: “Yes, of course, of course. God is God. Still, why do you think He has angels with plumblines, test strips and measuring scales?”
Me: “Hmm, that is a great question. I really don’t know the answer. After all, God already knows the state of any stream or lake. He knows when the tiniest sparrow falls. He has numbered the hairs on our head. Okay, why would God worry about the PH in this stream or any other water source for that matter?”
He stood up, turned towards me and took the package from my hand.
Raphael: “Oh Erin, you are not in Heaven yet. There will come a time on Earth where all water will be undrinkable.”
Me: “Oh no, is this Wormwood?”
Raphael: After taking a deep breath. “Angels weigh and measure for the purposes of God’s records. This is not because God requires it, but because man does. This evidence then demands a verdict. When the scales are tipped, the balance of weight is in favor of one side. When using a plumbline, it measures the land for level conditions.
“Some land is not even viable for God to build upon. Then there is the testing of healing waters. In God’s healing waters, not only is there enough oxygen to sustain life, it is also a true and pure Living Water. As for here, something came in after the last storm. While God has sent me to clear it, I must first measure it.”
Raphael then pulled out a type of rainbow-colored test tube. However, describing this as ‘rainbow-colored’ doesn’t do it justice. I should say that it contained colors from the entire spectrum. I then watched as he placed a single drop of water into the solution in the test tube. It instantly turned black.
Raphael: “Just as I suspected! Something muddied the water during this last storm. As if it wasn’t enough that your bridge is still in two pieces.”
Me: Panicking. “Oh Raphael, since the enemy knew that you were keeping our stream water clean, did he poison it?”
Raphael: “Well, Erin, it really doesn’t matter what he does. I am called to gather the evidence as I oversee this area. This is special to God. The enemy will not prevail.”
Raphael reached down and put his hand in the water. The water instantly calmed and cleared. He then took a drop of this renewed water and put it in the test tube. The black color instantly changed and the colors of the rainbow spectrum came back.
Me: “Wow, Raphael, what type of test is that? It is not at all like the PH test kits we find here on Earth.”
Raphael: “Yes, Erin, this test kit is far superior to anything on Earth. There are 14 on the scale and 7 is the perfect balance. While this is similar to an earthly measure, this gives much greater information. Well, I have now gathered all that I needed here. This is good.”
Me: “Raphael, could you please heal my daughter’s Beta fish ‘Heaven’?”
Raphael: “Erin, the Lord has shown you the fish you have had over the years swimming in the channels of God’s House.”
Me: “Do you mean the pearl fish with the vibrant blue ink?”
Raphael: “Yes. God cares about what you care about, both you and your children. It is not God’s desire for creatures who are beloved on Earth to die. He sends angels to gather them when they die and bring them to Heaven where they wait.”
Me: Now crying again. “Oh Raphael, I am just so sad. I don’t like death. Can you just come to heal Heaven?”
Raphael: Smiling. “Heaven is healed, Erin. His home will be where you are. Do not worry. God loves you. He loves your family. He loves your daughter.”
Me: “If it will end his suffering, please take Heaven home. He used to get excited whenever I came to speak to him. He used to swim towards me. Now he just lies there. He doesn’t even care about eating food.”
Raphael: “The animals you keep here are for your enjoyment and are gifts from God. Some are like measures and are meant to test the hearts of those who dwell in the house. Some are sent to encourage, to console and to be like Jesus. They are patient, faithful and unconditional in their love.”
Me: “Just like 1 Corinthians 13?”
Raphael: “Well, yes. You can insert the names of your creature companions in this ‘Fruits of the Spirit’ test and the majority will pass this.”
Note: This test is discussed further at the end of this dream.
Me: “Are pets an order of angelic beings?”
Raphael: “God’s Words are true. In the beginning, it is written, the Book of Genesis. A wise man…” He smiled and nudged me. “…or sparrow…” He laughed. “…prays for deeper meaning when reading the Words of God. However, it is not just in the Words, but it is also in the measure of the Words. This includes the depth, breadth and order of the Words, understand?”
Me: “I think so.”
Raphael: “Erin, I would go to God, the Creator of all things, for these answers to your questions. Do not be afraid. God knew the end from the beginning. He has created all things here. He has also not cancelled that which is good. He never said ‘Oh, I wish I had never created creatures!’”
Me: “While He never said that, He did say that He wished He had not created man.”
Raphael: “Yes, but, in His Mercy, He loved them and continued. He has had a great plan from the beginning for man and will keep to His timing and His plan. He even sent His only begotten Son, God in flesh, to be born amongst the animals of the manger in a lowly place. This is because He is also the Good Shepherd. He is the One Who carries little lambs. It is God Who has built a Nest near His Altar, a place where sparrows raise their young. God delights in His Creation as He does also His created animals.”
Me: “I thank God for pets. However, I find that their lives are too short here.”
Raphael: “This too is by God’s design for here on Earth. However, Heaven is different. Heaven is free. Heaven is never boring. Nothing in Heaven dies. Everything and everyone in Heaven is happy.”
Me: Crying. “Thank you for being used as God’s Voice to me.”
Raphael: “I do as God instructs. Now, you fear many things because your heart is grieving to be apart from your daughter. I have a great message from God. He is bringing you out to your promised land. This will be for a brief time and for your daughter also. However, here is where you will finish your journey in a very unexpected way.”
Me: “Will it not continue?” I was now panicking and it showed.
Raphael: “Yes. Do not panic. Erin, this is good news. God instructed you to winterize and so you are. You are removing the former things. You will no longer suffer. Now, I have a message from God for you…
Message from God through Raphael: “I am with you. I have not forgotten you. I am with your daughter. One day she will come home to where you are and your joy will be complete. I have declared you My Pillar. You are a pillar in My House because I have found you worthy. While you do not understand this right now, you will one day.
“You have done all that I have asked you. You were not capable of any of these things on your own strength. However, I am your God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. It is I Who establishes a nation, then scatters it, only to gather those in exile home again to My bosom. As you have grieved your losses, I will gather you up to Me.
“I will restore all of your brokenness and heal your heart. My recompense is with Me and I bring this to you. My promises are true and I have never forgotten you. Though you were discouraged, angry and in great pain at times, you never stopped chasing Me. Now, as much as you love your daughter, I love you, My daughter, but in a much greater capacity.
“I delight in what you delight in. I show kindness to those who are kind to you just as you do for your children. As for those who are cruel to you or your children, I will not relent in the pursuit of the wicked for your sake. I am with you. I have a great plan for you. I love you.”
Me: Crying. “Thank You, Father.” I dropped to my knees. I put my face in my hands and wept. “Oh Lord, please heal my grief. Please heal my heart. Please have mercy on me.”
I then felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and there, kneeling down to meet me where I was, was Jesus. He brought me up and held me as I wept. It was as if years of tears flooded again in wave after wave until I had no more.
Jesus: “I have you, Erin. I am with you. Allow Me to carry you. It is not the end, only the beginning. I will turn your mourning into dancing.” He smiled. “I promise you! I will make everything brand new. Rejoice. Do not worry or be afraid. I have never stopped caring for you. I will not stop. I have your lambs in My arms too.” He kissed the top of my head.
Dream over…
THE GREAT LOVE TEST
As mentioned by Raphael above and as outlined by my husband below…
The ‘Fruits of the Spirit’ test Raphael referred to is also known as ‘The Great Love Test’. This is one of the most humbling exercises I have ever completed. Start by inserting your name in place of the word ‘love’ in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as follows:
“_____ is patient and kind. _____ does not envy or boast. _____ is not arrogant or rude. ______ does not insist on his / her own way. ______ is not irritable or resentful. _______ does not rejoice at wrongdoings, but rejoices with the truth. _________ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
I would highly recommend that each of you also do this exercise, but not just mentally. Do this by physically writing out every word with your name inserted in the blanks. I personally found this to be much more impactful when I physically saw my name written there. When I did this, I was absolutely shocked (and horrified) at just how many shortfalls I had (and still have) to work on. In reality, I was in turmoil for a few days after I first did this exercise.
Previous Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-504/
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