Dream 506 – Travel to Oregon put on a temporary hold
Received on Saturday, July 24, 2021
Today is the 15th of Av, the happiest day in the Jewish calendar (along with Yom Kippur). This day is referred to as Tu B’Av and is celebrated by the Jewish people as an excellent day for weddings, a sort of Valentine’s Day. The last dream, Dream 505, was posted on the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, Tisha B’Av, the 9th of Av.
Communion
Dear Father,
Something is wrong with me. I have a hollow emptiness that can’t be explained. It is a feeling of vacancy. My self is gone. I look around and nothing fills the void. As for yesterday, I purposely stayed so busy that I never had any time to reflect on my state of being. I have grieved for many things over the years. My life has been filled with tragedy and loss.
Those I have loved were there and then they were not. Even though their presence was gone, the essence and impression of them was stamped into my heart. I was reflecting over the course of my motherhood and pray that I was a good example. God, You gently led me to raise my children. My children still have great faith in you. This is my gauge for doing something right.
In the last few days, I have watched many doors shut for us. Our timing for the Bend OR trip was put on hold as I work through some medical issues. I am confined to our home for a while as I wait on some results. My foot also has not healed. I also have a few open tiny lesions which bleed sporadically.
Still, nothing matches how much I miss my daughter. When I walked into our family room this morning, I expected to see her sitting in her chair writing in her journal and reading her Bible. I felt a deep guttural punch when I remembered she is gone now. Zoey (our dog) has been searching for her too. Both of our dogs have been moping around and can sense the disappearance.
Father, please fill my emptiness with Your joy. My body is broken and I am searching for joy. I am so thankful to have those who remain. My husband’s son is also soon to return. While I am so thankful for friends, especially my good friends who reside on our Nest, something in me is dying and void without my daughter. While I know that even this too shall pass, I also know that this is a grieving process You are allowing.
While I feel incomplete, I know that only You can complete me. We learned two days ago that a friend of ours, Mike, had only been given 12 months to live. Still, this was 16 months ago and he is doing fine. You just never know God’s perfect timing. Anyway, he is single and alone, but he has You. Please keep him close. Father, please heal him, in the Name of Jesus, Amen! Each day we have our loved ones still here on Earth is a special gift. These are jewels in the treasure chest of our hearts.
Oh Father, please heal us. While I have asked for this hundreds and hundreds of times before, each time I hope for a yes with my full heart. While I don’t deserve healing, You have promised this and I stand on Your promises being true, each and every one of them. I am so sorry that I am struggling with so much right now. I know that You have me, but it is still hard. We are only human.
I have another loss. When I feed my outside birds and animals, they now act like I am a stranger. While they still eat what I provide, they wait until I am inside and no longer a perceived threat. All of this feels like a gaping wound, a wound that cannot be healed with Your intervention. Father, please, please, please help me… but also all of us! So many are hurting right now and it is so hard.
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
I heard a knock at my front door. I was slow to the door today. It was the Lord.
Me: “Come in, Lord. The door is always open to you.”
He came in and walked over to me. He kissed the top of my head as He reached for my hand.
Jesus: “I am glad you came to Me today.” His eyes were studying me even though He knew my every thought. My lips began to quiver. “Erin, I am NOT your imagination.” I am here, Erin. Even if I were in your head, then is this not good? If I were made up, then this too would be a miracle as this keeps Me ever before you in all of your thoughts.”
Me: Crying. “Lord, You are a great mystery to me. My daughter’s fish is still alive, but barely. Could You please heal her fish for me? I know You can, but will You? I feel like that fish right now. In illness, I dwell at the bottom of the tank. I barely come up for air now. I am this fish, a fish that has lost her luster.”
Jesus: “Hmm, what can I say to you when you are in such a state? Do you believe I love you?”
Me: “Yes.”
Jesus: “Do you believe I love your fish named ‘Heaven’?”
Me: “Yes.”
Jesus: “Now, why did I put a (temporary) stop to your (travel) plans?”
Me: “Lord, only You know.”
Jesus: “This is because the days were not the correct ones. If you go a day earlier than I had planned, then this is not good. Every day early is too early. If you had gone a day late, then you would have been late every day.”
Me: “So, when is good, Lord? We have just a small window of time.”
Jesus: “Erin, I have allowed your illness to grip you where you are. I am gifting you 12 days of preparation. You are to take care of all I will direct you to do.”
Me: “Is this winterizing?”
Jesus: “Well, yes. You are to prepare for a time away from your daily routine. This does not mean a spiritual winter. You have had this season already and it was difficult on you. You will be with Me in all things as I am with you. However, here is the issue… you are not the creators of your own destiny as, apart from Me, your plans will fail. Do not move on your own strength.”
Me: “I didn’t realize that we had. I am so sorry!”
Jesus: “You were ready to be on the move days after your daughter. However, your calendar was not in sync with Mine.”
Me: “Okay, Lord, please help me with clarity. Please line up all things according to Your plan. Without You, there is a greater cost. I just hoped for healing first.”
Jesus: “I love you and I am with you. I will provide for your every need. I am creating a way where there seems none. I used your daughter to turn your heart back to the land I promised to you years ago. Now, will I allow you a lengthy labor and now not deliver you?” He smiled. “No, I will not. However, you are to allow Me to deliver you as it is a more difficult delivery when you are on your own.”
Me: “Forgive me, Lord.”
Jesus: “You are forgiven. Now, I have some doors to open and your heart will be very glad. Now, complete the tasks I have placed on your heart. This is so you will be free from burdens when I send you, understand?”
Me: “Okay, but then when is our ‘spy trip’ to be?”
Jesus: “I have some doors about to open and provision along with them. This is so you will know I am God. I am who I say I am and I am with you. Now, as you complete your tasks, your illness will be gone. Rest when I call you to do so. Work when I call you to do so.”
Me: “Lord, I feel I have been in a spiritual winter. I feel like a dormant winter tree.”
Jesus: “Not quite, Erin. You are instead like a tree planted by these streams of water, a tree that yields fruit in your season. Your leaves do not wither. You will prosper in all that you do. This is because it is I who is with you in all things. Think of the emptiness you are experiencing as being like a vessel used for water. When it is emptied at times, there is residue which remains at the bottom. This is the residue, like a residue of sand, that was picked up along the way. So too wash this out.
“Erin, you are to allow Me to fill you with My pure Living Water. Your joy will then be complete as you are able to pour more blessings out on others. Do you understand? You are alive, Erin. I am in you and with you. I would know.” He smiled as He gently nudged me. “Now, rejoice, as I am with you and great is My reward to you.” He reached over and hugged me. “Erin, I have you.”
Dream over…
Previous Dream: http://sparrowcloud9.com/heaven-dreams-interpretations/the-tribulation/excerpt-from-dreams-questions-answered/full-dreams/dream-505/
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