Dream 252 – Jesus and Sending the Angels that Strengthen

Finished on Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Received on Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Communion

Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for my husband, children and the place that You prepared for us.  Thank You for our family and friends and their prayers.

Today is balmy and overcast. While normally there are birds chirping and singing outside my window, all I can hear today is the occasional distant caw from a crow.  Otherwise, it is completely still and quiet.

I wish that I could say the same about my heart. All of my children are still here with me today, but this is a rare thing as two of them are usually already gone for their summer visit to their father’s.  However, the reason for this is bittersweet as this is due to the test results we are still waiting for from my daughter’s biopsy.

All of this has caused my heart to hurt. While I am somewhat used to taking the brunt of physical trials after so many years of this, it hurts for a mom to see her child now struggle with this.  Well, all I can do is surrender everything to Your plans and timing.

Father, we have grown closer as a family, but all of this uncertainty is quite unnerving. When I carve out time to come to You in quiet prayer to tell You all of my concerns, I hear Your Voice say, ‘Do not worry, Erin, I have this.’  Still, it is human, especially for a mom, to still worry, even when I know better.

When I look back on my childhood, I can remember so many different times of trials and tragedies. When these events came, they were sudden and, even if but for a brief moment, somehow time even seemed to stand still.  It literally felt to me like time had stopped.

While there were times that I have even wished that I could make the clock go backwards for a do over or to do something different, even if it was just for fifteen minutes, the bottom line is that this type of thinking really accomplishes nothing.

I recently noticed that when things happen that are beyond my control, I now search my memory banks over my past bridges. I search for past sins that I may have committed that perhaps would help justify some of what happened to me and even continues today.

Well, the enemy has used this searching of mine and had a field day with me this morning. I remembered things I had done when I was child, times before I followed You.  Though I thought I knew so much back then, I now know that my thoughts and actions were unreasonable and without leading.

A few specific things suddenly came up in my mind. Oh Lord, did I forget to repent for something?  I decided that only prayer could help the anguish I was feeling right now.  I immediately went on my knees to go before the Lord to ask for His divine assistance.

Me: “Oh Father, please forgive me.  I am so sorry that I have sinned against You.  When I was young and foolish, I wore my sins like a badge of honor on the battlefield of foolish wars.  Please forgive me as I never knew the long term effects of all that I had done.  Lord, please do not hold any of this against me or my children.  Please!”

Holy Spirit: “Who told you to travel back over your previous bridges?  It was not Me, Erin, it was your accuser.  You have already repented for your past sins and, for some of them, several times.  If you had not repented, you would not be where you are today, here with Me.

“Do not look back, Erin, as the enemy walks around with mirrors. While you no longer have trouble with vanity as you once did in your foolish youth, the enemy uses this to create mugshots with your reflection and shows this to you.  This is a lie!  You have Me now, so remove the accuser.  He only has that power which you choose to give to him.”

Me: “Yes, Lord, but sometimes it even seems as if You have granted him this power.”

Holy Spirit: “Yes, but only when this is part of My plan in keeping your faith strengthened.  Remember that My ways are higher than your ways.”

Me: “Yes, Lord, I am sorry that I so quickly forget sometimes.”

Holy Spirit: “Erin, do not be fooled by the enemy’s schemes.”

Me: “Oh Father, please forgive me for partnering up with the accuser in the times when I beat myself up for my past.  I repent for participating in these schemes of his against me.  Please remove the enemy from my life so that I can see only the face of Your Son in the mirror instead.  I just love You so much.  Please, Father, keep us safe under Your wings and by Your Altar.  All of our hope is in You!”

Holy Spirit: “You have been and are forgiven.”

I suddenly felt my burdens lift and felt at peace. I suddenly recalled two dreams that I recently had, one from last night and the other from the night before.

Dream 1 description begins (July 3rd, 2017)…

I owned a large piece of property. It was beautifully groomed with alfalfa fields and other types of crops.  There was also a greenhouse that held a variety of fruit trees and vegetables.  There seemed to be so much land that it stretched for acres and acres.

One day, I decided to take a walk to get my mail from the mailbox down the main road just off of this property. When I reached my gate, I surveyed the surrounding land and noticed that it was not lush like mine.  Instead, it looked quite foreboding.

The landscape was barren and I could see brown dirt everywhere that I looked. As I walked down the main road, I saw that two make shift shelters had been built just off of our property.  The shelters were made of tumbleweeds and manzanita branches.

I looked into the first shelter and saw a curled up, medium-sized brown dog lying there. I could tell that, at one point, he had clearly been someone’s pet as he was still wearing a rather comical doggie t-shirt and a small baseball cap.  The dog did not move and I thought that perhaps he might have been sleeping, but I really did not know for sure.

It was only then that I noticed a very large rabbit standing right next to the dog. The rabbit was huge and was white with large brown spots.  It was barely recognizable as a rabbit as it had eaten so much that it was now grotesquely engorged.

As I turned away from this rather odd sight and left the shelter, I caught a movement in the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw a blonde colored cow with her calf.  The cow looked extremely sick and the calf looked almost dead from starvation.

The cow was so small and sickly that it was heartbreaking. It even seemed as if the cow was fully aware that her calf was starving from lack of milk, but somehow felt helpless to do anything about it.  The calf laid next to her mother and had a listless look.  I shook my head in sadness at the horrible sight.

I then heard footsteps coming from behind me. When I turned to look, I saw that my husband was now standing next to me.  I was in tears as I turned towards him.  I hugged him and started to cry as I pointed to the awful sight.

Me: “There is food for her to eat just twenty feet away on our property.  There is fresh alfalfa literally just a few feet away from them.  Why does she not just eat it?  Perhaps I should get a tray of food and bring it to them.  We have to help or they will soon die.”

My husband: “Erin, they know that there is food here, but they have purposely chosen this.  I am not sure why the rabbit is here.  This is odd and it just seems to mock the others while it continues to gorge itself on food.  There is really nothing we are supposed to do here.  This is hard to look at.  We have to go now.”

I reluctantly agreed with him and we continued on our walk. We then decided to peek into the second shelter to see if there were any odd sights there as well.  Sure enough, there was a physically healthy, young red cow standing there, but it looked disoriented and confused.  This also did not feel right to us.

We again soon decided to keep walking to the mailbox. After picking up our mail, we walked back past the shelter.  It was just a few minutes later, but the red cow was now asleep.

Not only that, but, when we walked past the other shelter, the mother cow had already left and the calf laid there dead. The tiny body of the emaciated dead calf was right next to the sleeping dog.  We then noticed that the rabbit had also now left.

Me: Crying.  “Should we bury the calf?”

My husband: “No.  We do not know what caused her death.  We simply cannot risk carrying any potential disease back to our house.  We will just have to leave her.”

Me: “The buzzards will eat her.”

My husband: “Perhaps, but God has not called us to spend our time this way.  He has not called us to spend our time trying to save that which has no desire to be saved.  There was food right next to them and they chose not to eat it.  It is not our calling to make sure that every creature is fed.  While this is noble, it is just not what God’s directive is for us at this time.”

I started to cry as it was all just so hard to look at. As I nodded my head in agreement with my husband, he came over to hug me.  Even though I knew in my heart that he was correct, it was still so hard to just keep walking.

Dream 1 description over…

Dream 2 description begins (July 4th, 2017)…

I was living in a room in the ‘Old Main’ University Park Campus Building at Penn State. My children were also living there, but off-campus in a bright and cheery area with lots of sunshine.  Unlike where I was, they were surrounded by the laughter of joyful people.

I went to visit them at their residence and it was so wonderful for me to see them with such happiness. Every one of them was healed and they were now beginning to have lives of their own.  For some reason, we all looked around the same age in this dream and as if we were all in our twenties.

On a side note, I have found it quite odd that the Lord sometimes has us looking similar in age as our kids in some of these dreams. While I am really not sure why He does this sometimes, I suppose this is yet another mystery from our limitless God!

As I visited with my children, they asked me if I would be willing to move out of the dreary ‘Old Main’ building to where they were living. It did not take much for me to be convinced and I quickly agreed to move.

Me:  “Alright, but I need to go back and gather up a few items first.  I will meet you back here at around 7:00pm.”

My oldest son: “Okay, mom, but hurry.  Remember how dark it gets there!”

Me: Smiling.  “I know, I know.  Do not worry.  It will not take me too long.”

After each of them hugged me, I started to walk back to my room. As I walked, I passed by two people that were staring at me.  This made me quite uncomfortable as they both looked crazy and were whispering about me in hushed tones.  One of them then whistled in a way that I knew was meant to tell others up ahead that I was coming.

I searched ahead for any signs of danger, but could not see any. I decided to keep walking, but much quicker.  When I looked back, the two crazy people were no longer there.  To my great relief, I soon arrived at my apartment without any incident.

I quickly started gathering up my belongings, but soon decided that this was taking far too long. I instead decided to gather up only what I needed and placed it into a small backpack.  Just as I was about to open the door to leave, I decided to peek out the window first.

When I looked out, I could see an insane looking woman charging at my door with an axe. There were several others with her and they were all standing just outside of my apartment.  I instantly regretted going to my apartment without one of my sons.

Now, normally I would have had my husband here to help me, but he was currently away with his son. When I started to hear the axe smashing into the door, I just knew it would not be long before they gained entry.  I cried out to God.

Me: “Oh Father, please send Your mighty angels to protect me!”

I then heard Jesus’ Voice audibly speak back to me calmly. This made me calm.

Jesus: “Erin, just walk out.”

I immediately felt no fear and opened the door when I knew that the woman was resting between axe swings. I then simply walked right by all of them as they rushed into the now open door to my apartment.

Not one of them could see me. The Lord downloaded their plans and I knew they were plotting to attack and kill me that very night.  They ran right by me and did not see me at all. I could not help but laugh at this turn of events as I walked over to where my kids were waiting for me.  I looked down at my watch and noticed that I was still ‘right on time’.

Dream 2 description over…

Received on Sunday, July 9, 2017

Communion

Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for Your love.  Thank You!  Thank You for delivering my two youngest children to Washington safely.  I surrender them to You, Father, as they are always safest in Your arms, not mine.

As You already know, I had a very difficult night last night and have not felt physically well lately. Each new battle seems to take more and more out of me.  While I then become better equipped for the next one after each of these often dramatic battles, I am also physically less able to stand.

It seems to now take several days for me to recover after one of these stressful situations. I am so blessed to have a husband that can now witness to all of this and can testify to the intensity of it all.  Thank You, Father, for sending my husband as my witness and earthly support.

I recently noticed that, ever since my husband read my ‘Little Red Journal of Pain’ as caused by my main enemy, he has become especially relentless against this particular enemy. While I still sometimes just want it all to go away and give in, he gives me encouraging words and insists that I stand and fight as You have instructed us to:

  • “No, Erin, with the Lord behind us, you will never need to bend to this man ever again.”
  • “The Lord says He will deliver us from this man’s evil ways, so let us not cower.”
  • “Remember that this man hates you so much and has never stopped wanting your death. If ‘this or that’ makes him angry, also remember that he simply cannot get any angrier than he already is towards you. Let’s stick to the plan.”
  • “Unless the Lord specifically tells us otherwise, we will stand up to him at every opportunity and will not relent until it is all over.”
  • “Remember that this man sees any voluntary act of kindness on our part as weakness. He had become used to you giving in, but I am here now. He will soon realize that things have changed.”

Oh, and let me tell you, he has! Thank You, Father, for sending me my husband.  I am in such pain and I do not know how I could continue without Your strength and now his.

My arms are now numb, I am having difficulty breathing and my chest is heavy. I am not sure why this is all happening to me.  All of the pain seems to make me quickly forget the reasons You have told me for why You have allowed this.

As a result, I am struggling greatly right now, Father, and I am so tired. In my great pain, I sometimes now even forget if I have even made a difference in the lives of those around me.  Pain does things to a person that is hard to describe unless you have experienced it yourself.

Lord, I pray that I have displayed Your love and grace in all that I have done. I pray that our children have grown to know You and love You as I do.  My children, in particular, are so easily discouraged when Your promises do not come as quickly as they had thought they should.

Oh Father, it is so difficult to be a teenager in this world today. As a parent, I can no longer keep up with the trends that seem to fight for their attention.  At this time in my life and in my current health, I feel that I would actually be a better grandparent than a parent right now.

I have prayed for my children. I have prayed that they would have excitement, joy and fun adventures.  I have prayed that they would gain wisdom on their path towards You.  However, as of right now, I am sad as things are just not as I had hoped for them.

My sons, but especially my older son, grow more and more discouraged by their current mental limitations. Father, I can do nothing to heal their hearts and minds.  All I can do is lend comfort in their brokenness as we continue to wait for Your timing.

I can literally do nothing these days other than continue to pray to You with all of my heart. My pain level has now become too intense and I am going to now stop for the day.

Received on Monday, July 10, 2017

Dream 3 description begins (July 10th, 2017)…

I had two separate wounds and each was a different size. The smaller wound was on my right leg and the larger wound was on my right torso.  While I tried everything I could to make them better, they would not stop bleeding and oozing.  While the wounds did not seem to worsen, they also did not seem to be getting any better.

I decided to go to the hospital for help. Once there, several specialists saw me and ran various tests on me.  For some odd reason, each one of the specialists told me that the wounds had ‘opened nicely’.  I was not very pleased with their nonchalant attitude or this seemingly extremely rude comment.

Specialist: “I am sorry to tell you that there is nothing that we can do to help you.”

Me: “Can you not at least check the wounds for cancer?  Can you not give me something to keep them from continuing to bleed?”

Specialist: “You will simply need to accept this.  The wounds are not going anywhere.  In fact, they are now a part of you.”

The other doctors had now gathered around and I was hoping for a second opinion from one of them. Instead, they all nodded in agreement with everything that he was saying.

Me: “Are you telling me that there is absolutely nothing that medical science can do?”

Specialist: Laughing.  “Why are you so worried?  These wounds will not be a death sentence for you.  Satisfied?”

I was about to protest, but he condescendingly patted me on my back and walked away. As he walked away, his entire ‘posse’ of medical staff followed along with him.  I decided to keep quiet, but I was so discouraged.  I called out to God in prayer.

Me: “Father, I need Your help.  If I have open wounds, I need You to heal them.  Perhaps this means something else as You have already told me that I have repented and have been forgiven.  Oh Father, what do these wounds mean?  Please help me.”

Dream 3 description over…

I was now in so much pain again that I decided to stop for the day.

Received on Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Communion

Dear Father,

Thank You for another day! Thank You for all that we have.  Thank You for my husband and children.  Please bless us soon, Father, as I am in so much pain.  I am feeling more and more discouraged each day and I need Your divine intervention soon.

I paused here for a few minutes to pray, but really to have a good cry. Just then, a Messianic prayer pastor from an organization in Israel phoned me.  She said that the Lord had told her to call to pray with me for my needs.  While several requests came to mind as we prayed, I found that I mostly wanted to pray for healing for my sons.

Father, my oldest son recently spoke to me about several things that were weighing on him. Like me, he has been struggling with the continued wait for our healing.

Son: “Mom, I feel so abandoned by God right now.  He knows that I cannot make it in this world as I am, but He is not doing anything about it.  I cannot make it out there.  I do not understand how to be normal.  I do not understand how to act.  I am continuously passed by.  Other than those here in the house, but especially you, I am alone.  I have nothing!”

I tried to encourage him, but I knew in my heart that he was right. However, in reality, both of my sons are struggling greatly right now with their Asperger’s.  While they both say that they pray to you, they also say that they ‘quickly give up when You do not speak back to them’.

Father, my heart just breaks for them. In a way, I even feel isolated by their pain as I know that the world is a harsh place for children like them.  At times, I feel as if I am protecting the world from them, but I mostly feel as if I am protecting them from the world.

My youngest son seems to have a limited short term memory combined with a very selective long term memory. While I know that this is a safety feature that You have put into his wiring for now, it is still such a difficult thing for me to bear.  As both of my sons are quite easy to anger, they are often targeted for teasing and bullying.

Both of them are unqualified for college and even vocational education and ‘skill schools’. While my oldest son can easily learn foreign languages with his incredible memory, his other traits are just too debilitating to pursue this fully.  Quite simply, he is disqualified from most employment as he becomes easily annoyed with people.

As for my younger son, he is extremely talented in outdoor pursuits and any type of construction projects. However, he likes routine and will quickly withdraw as soon as something is no longer of interest to him.  This makes him unemployable as well.

Even though my husband is aware of all of this and we have talked about it at great lengths, it still felt good to pray on this with the pastor. She prayed for me and my sons.  Father, I believe that You sent her out of the blue to make me feel better.  It worked!  I knew that this was from You, Father, so thank You for sending her.

Along with all of the prayers I receive from my Nest family, You knew that I also really needed this right now as well. Oh Father, if You decide to only heal just two of us from our house, please make it my boys.  I would be so joyful.  Just to see what I have been praying on my knees for years come to be, well, I would have no words.

So, Father, I give them to You yet again. I pray that Your Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven concerning both of them.  They do not deserve all that has happened to them.  While I know that I speak this from my limited ability as a mom only and also know that this is all part of Your greater plan, this waiting is excruciating for all of us.

While I understand what all of my pain has been used for bringing me closer to You, it is hard for me, as a mom, to see my boys continue to struggle. While I would trade my healing for my children without hesitation, I cling to Your promise to heal all of us.  So, Father, I come to You once again and ask for You to have mercy on us and soon.

Jesus: “Erin, come up.”

I was lying in a beautiful meadow and it was the perfect temperature. As I closed my eyes, You flashed vision after vision of various vignettes from my life.  This seemed unusual to me as I could not remember You ever giving me this type of ‘vision medley’ before.

Albany, California as a 10 year old child:  I was out taking a walk from my home on Masonic Avenue on a street that ran parallel to the train tracks for the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART).  I ran across the street and under the elevated train tracks to a park-like area with a walking path.

I was wearing white bell bottoms with green stripes. My pants and t-shirt were old and needed to be replaced, but we were poor.  I wore green sneakers and they now had holes in them.  The soles were very thin and almost completely worn out.

I loved to run, but the ill-suited footwear soon resulted in me having shin-splints that hurt so bad that I would need to stop running at times. I ran up and down the walking path until I was tired and then went to sit down on a bench just across from my house.

Hagen, Wisconsin as a 14 year old child: I was running towards my step-sister through a field of very tall grass. When I reached her, we started to laugh and joke around together.  We then started to play ‘hide-and-seek’.  I hid in a clump of tall grass.  I could soon tell that she had seen me and was sneaking over, so I started to run again.

Country Home as an 18 year old:  It was spring time and I was living in my home in the country.  This particular home had been the first to be built in a development that was later to fail.  I was on my daily run on a dirt track that was not far from where we lived.  I was listening to ‘I ran’ by ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ on my Walkman.

I could see my house as I rounded the bend going at full speed. I was so young again and had forgotten how incredibly physically fit I was back then.  As I sprinted down the straight part of the track, I felt such joy to be running with such ease.

Penn State Running Track as a 22 year old:  In the blink of an eye, I was still running, but was now in a completely different place.  I never even broke a single stride from the dirt track in the country that I had just been running on.  I shook my head in amazement at God’s ways.

I now had updated earbuds on and the song ‘I ran’ was still playing. I could not help but laugh.  I was on the cross-country running track that circles the White and Blue Golf Courses on the Penn State Campus.  I could tell that I was on the five mile run that I did at least three to four days per week.

I ran down the right side of the White Golf Course and I could see some houses to my right through the trees. It was a beautiful day.  I looked back at the golf course for just a moment, but when I then faced forward again…

Path in Heaven at my current age:  …I was instantly in a different place and on a path that I did not recognize.  I could no longer run like I had just been on the Penn State Campus and quickly slowed down to a walk.  It took some time to catch my breath.

The path was smooth, narrow and beautiful, but I felt so old again. It is hard to describe how disappointing it is to be young again and then instantly back to my current disabled self.  I was about to start crying when I noticed that Jesus was straight ahead and waiting for me at the very end of the path.

I still felt old, but I could slowly feel my legs and lungs strengthen. As long as I kept my eyes focused on Him, I was able to pick up more and more speed.  I could feel my body being transformed and I was literally becoming young again.  I started running faster than I had ever run before and my breath was becoming less and less labored.

When I looked down at my hands and body, I could see them changing with each step. As amazing as it was to watch my transformation, I knew that I had to instead stay focused on Jesus.  I looked back up at Him and He had a huge smile on His face.

As I got closer, I could hear Him starting to laugh. Tears were now streaming down my cheeks, but this time with joy instead of pain.  I bore down and started sprinting as fast as I could towards Him.  I was now running faster than any human has ever run on Earth.  Jesus held His arms out to receive me.

Jesus: Laughing.  “Don’t slow down, Erin.”

I decided to throw caution to the wind and somehow even went faster. Jesus nodded to me and continued to motion me to go faster.  I ran to Him at full speed and suddenly became worried for both of our safety when I was really close, way too close to stop.  I ran straight into His arms at top speed, but He effortlessly caught me.

He playfully swung me around in the air in His arms as I laughed like I did when I was a little child playing with my step-sister. I felt such joy and I could tell that He wanted me to really enjoy the moment.  He slowed us down and gently placed my feet back on the ground.  After hugging Him for what seemed to be minutes, He looked into my eyes.

Jesus: “I am glad you came, Erin.”

Me: “Lord, what was all that about?”

Jesus: “I am the Good Physician, the One Who will soon heal you.  These scenarios were the times that you had searched for Me even though you did not know that you were searching for Me.  I was always there with you, Erin, and I even ran with you while you were running.  Even though I knew you, you still did not know Me.

“However, even though you now know Me, you are discouraged. You are discouraged because you have physically suffered ever since you gave your life to Me.  You now equate the two together and are discouraged by your current condition and pain.  While I did not cause your suffering, it was still allowed so that you would see Me with you even during your troubles.

“When you finally cried out to Me, it was then that I was found by you. While it was I Who first called you, it took your troubles for you to finally hear Me calling you.  I know that it has been painful, but know that, in your suffering, I am always here with you and that you are never alone.”

Me: “Yes, Lord, but it feels as if You do not even hear me in my pain.  It hurts my feelings to know that You fully know that I am in such pain, but have not done anything about it even when You so easily already could have.  While I try not to show my pain to my family and friends, it still shows in my eyes on certain days.

“The grief in my heart of the struggles of my boys, and now even my daughter, have weighed heavily on me recently. The last two weeks have been troubling and I am afraid to say that I am now even starting to lose all hope.”

Jesus: “I too have suffered, Erin.  I cried out to My Father in the garden because I understood the lateness of the hour.  I asked for this cup to be passed from My Will to My Father’s Will as My Will ‘in the flesh’ needed to be strengthened to endure what was soon to come.  An angel then appeared and gave Me strength from the Throne of My Father to endure what was about to come.”

Me: “Yes, Lord, but You are the Son of God and God in the flesh, so why did you need strength?”

Jesus: Smiling.  “Good question, Erin, but then you must also ask yourself why I would have put Myself in this position to begin with.  Why would I endure such punishment of the flesh when it would have been easier for Me to command angels from Heavenly places instead?  Why would I even come down in the flesh at all?”

Me: “Great questions, Lord!  Could You not have just taken away the sins of the world from the Courts in Heaven instead?”

Jesus: “Hmm, perhaps God made a mistake.  Perhaps I went through all of that for no real reason.  Hmm.”

Now, I should note here that He was not being sarcastic with me and has never been sarcastic even one time. He was smiling at me as He spoke and was trying to put me at ease in asking Him these questions.  As per usual, it worked perfectly…just like Him.

Me: “Okay, okay, Lord, I am sorry.  It was truly the only way and it was the perfect way.  Please forgive me.  You came in the flesh in order to have a relationship with us.  You came in great love.  You came as the Sacrificial Lamb and the Scapegoat in order to atone for our sins once and for all.”

Jesus: “Well, yes, Erin, but there is even much more to it than this.  You must understand that there is a reason that My Father had sent Me when He did.  This was written and foretold and had been the plan from the very beginning.

“Now, while it may seem at times that I am oblivious to your suffering and that I do not hear the prayers of the meek, I do, Erin, and I always do. However, it will not be until you are finally here with Me that all will be shown.

“At that time, you will see how precise and perfect all of this was from beginning right until the great and wonderful time of My coming for My Bride. You will then all say, ‘God is so much greater than I could have ever conceived, right from the beginning up until the very end.’”

Me: “Lord, could You please send an angel to strengthen me like he did You in Your final hours?”

Jesus: “Go back and read all that I have told you I would do for all of those who love Me in these troubling times.”  He smiled at me and we both laughed together.

Me: “Alright, Lord.  Oh yes, I woke up from my sleep several days ago and I distinctly heard Your Voice say to me, ‘your three weeks of mourning is almost complete.’  The Jewish mourning time of the same length started after this, so I believe that this is something different.  What did You mean by this?

“I know that I have been unusually weepy lately, so I assume that this must be part of my ‘time of mourning’. Please, Lord, strengthen my heart.  When I now see people suffering or dying, it feels so different.  The only way I know how to describe it is to say that it is as if I somehow already knew them.  How is this even possible?”

Jesus: “I heard your prayers for the woman you saw last night.”

As background on this, my husband and I were recently at a Walmart when a woman walked by with severe swelling caused by Lymphedema. Her ankles seemed as large as my waist.  I was so bothered by this that I asked my husband to pray with me right then and there in the produce section for her to be healed.

Me: “Oh, Lord, please heal her.  It made me cry to see her like that.  I also saw a little boy with a scar on his skull from brain surgery.  When I looked at his mother, I could somehow feel her burden.  Oh, Lord, please heal this boy as well.”

Jesus: “You also have several requests for healing for you and your family right now.  Erin, there is a reason that you have been called to prayer right now.  I have also brought your attention to the significance of My prayer in the garden that night.  You are overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death from your soul.  This I understand, Erin, so pray.  As it is written, the hour is late and the Son of Man is near.”

Me: “Lord, some scholars foolishly claim that God sent the angel to strengthen You by simply providing You with the words, ‘No, You must drink from the cup of suffering.’”

Jesus: He laughed and shook His head.  “Hmm, so I had required that an angel bring Me a reinforced ‘no’ from My Father on the Throne in order to strengthen Me with encouragement to continue?”

Me: Laughing.  “Well, Lord, clearly this cannot be right as this would not make any sense!”

Jesus: “This would make Me seem unaware of what I knew was about to come.  If that is the case, then why would I have felt a need to pray with such urgency?  Why would I tell the betrayer, when giving him bread, ‘What you must do, do quickly.’  There is even more evidence against this.

“Now, to put it quite simply, the angel had been sent to strengthen Me. So, what could an angel do to strengthen Me unless called down from My Father with supernatural endurance for My body?  Since this was in My Father’s Will, exactly what He was told to do.”

Me: “Lord, I recently read that most men die in the beating stages by the Romans and never even made it to 39.  As for You, Lord, You still had to endure so much even after the 39 was complete.”

Jesus: “Yes, Erin, but there is even more to this.  Now, even though I was in great physical condition, My Spirit was already enduring crushing.  Do you remember when I explained to you that this was an analogy of the grove of olive trees at the garden?  This was like an oil press and My Spirit was enduring crushing.  I have allowed what you are enduring so that you can now fully understand this.”

Me: “Yes, Lord, but my heart still hurts from thinking about You allowing all of this to happen to me.”

Jesus: “Erin, there is a purpose and you will know.  Now, those closest to Me were sleepy as they did not understand the hour.  They then abandoned Me and fled.  I was then arrested and had six trials.  During these trials, there were many people who bore false witness against Me.  There was injustice as eight laws were broken.

“I was then mocked and beaten. I was weak from the loss of blood alone.  The heaviness of the tree I carried was difficult to bear on My back.  This is similar to the burdens that you carry now.  They are too much for you, Erin, and this is why I keep reminding you to let Me take them from you.  Remember this, Erin.

“When I arrived at Golgotha, I was nailed to the tree. I was then raised and lifted up so that everyone who believes in Me would have eternal life.  I then died of a broken heart in the ninth hour.”

Me: I was in tears and hugged Him.  “I am so sorry, Lord.”

Jesus: “Why are you sorry?  I am here, Erin.  There was victory and there still is victory.  Now, I understand that, from your vantage point, it seems like I have no sympathy or understanding for you, Erin, but I do.  I love you.”

Me: “Thank You, Lord, but I still feel like the walking dead right now and that there are thousands of others out there in a similar situation as I am.  Please strengthen us to endure what is soon to come.  I am not You, Lord, and there is no way that I will be able to endure this.  My heart will break.

“Now, I have a question for You. Your Word says that there will be a time when those who believe in You will do even greater works than You in Your Name.  When I look back at history, I do not see any time that man has been able to believe in You and do even greater works than You in Your Name.

“Even the disciples did not match what You did when they were indwelled with the Holy Spirit. Since this has never happened before and Your Word always comes true, this must mean this is still to come.  So, Lord, when will this be?”  I smiled at Him.

Jesus: Laughing.  “You are asking a lot of questions today, Erin, but your questions are good.  There soon comes a time unlike any other.  While this will be similar to other times, as in sin, there are now many more sinning.

“The magnitude of evil is like in the days of Noah, whereby another flood would have been needed. Sin has spread to the point where barely anyone is redeemable except for a small group of people and the animals.  It is like those days of Noah, but in proportion to the population.

“Now, what unfolds has been foretold, understand? While there is nothing new under God, I can still do a new thing.”

Me: “This has always made me wonder.  How can You be the same yesterday, today and tomorrow as nothing is new under the sun, yet You are still doing a ‘new thing’?”

Jesus: Laughing.  “Good question.  You are quoting from Solomon about toil and daily working.  A daily routine continues.  However, it is later written that I am the same and that I am unchanging.  As I am a solid rock and a firm foundation, I am therefore reliable and you can trust Me.

“I am the Groom to the Bride and I provide and take care of Her. She never worries because She is confident and fully trusts in Me to take care of Her Household.”  He smiled as He then pointed to me.  “Now, a Bride trusts Her Groom to come for Her on Her ‘Wedding Day’.

“She loves Him so much that She has even forsaken Her family to be with Him.” I was to note here that this part was referring to a traditional Jewish wedding.  “She fully trusts Him with Her life.  She prepares, prays and studies about Him until the glorious day that, with great noise and cheering from His party, He comes for Her.

“In the meantime, do not fail to see that I am a creative Groom. I love My Bride and send Gifts ahead of My coming for Her to bring Her delight and, more importantly, to strengthen Her heart for Me with a greater love.

“Now, the Groom is steadfast as I am the Groom. However, My Father in Heaven is the Creator.  He can work things together for your good and create a new thing, as it is written.

“Erin, I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, but I can still do a new thing. I can do something unexpected, yet still foretold, but in a way most scholars think not.  Now, keep your eyes fixed on Me.  I promise you that I will not harm you.

“Even though, at times, you feel as if I have given up on you and forgotten about you, please know that I have not done this and will never do such a thing.” He smiled at me.  “Now, did you notice that I did not fall asleep three times during your prayers?”

I was now laughing and so was He.

Me: “Yes, Lord, but I am surprised as my prayers can often ramble.”

Jesus: “Yes, but I hear your heart.  Erin, I hear your heart.  I know your anxious thoughts, your pain and your grief.  Give Me your burdens.  You have quite a heavy yoke.  Come, Erin, you will now run like the wind.”

All of a sudden, we were on a race track. I looked down and I was wearing athletic attire and some amazing running shoes.  I then noticed that I was already setup in sprinter’s blocks.  I could not help but laugh when I looked over at Jesus and saw that He was now holding a stopwatch.

Jesus: “So, are you ready, Erin?”

Me: “Lord, I need some music first!”

Jesus started to laugh. Just then, the song ‘I ran’ started to play.  I was now laughing so hard again.

Jesus: “Okay, then, are you now ready, Erin?”

Me: “Yes, Lord.”

I looked up at the track and decided to put everything I had into this race. I felt my body slightly tense up in anticipation, but it felt incredible to be athletic again.  I then heard the loud sound of a shofar and knew that this was my signal.  I started to sprint as fast as I could.

Dream over…

 

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