Dream 371 – Jesus and our Burdens-Lifted Punch Cards
Received Monday, December 2, 2019
Thank You for another day! Thank You for my family, friends and a warm home. There is so much to be thankful for. My eldest son turns 22 on Tuesday. I am truly at a loss as to where the time has gone. Time waits for no one and continues despite our circumstances. When I was young, time was long and dragged on. When I lost a pet or a loved one, time was frozen.
When I was in school, I asked for more time to study and complete projects. When going through a traumatic event, I have asked for a reversal of time. When I was sick with a temporary illness, I longed for sleep and to wake up healthy. Now that I am older and disabled, I try to recall time, but especially the good times with my children. I wish I had cherished my time more when my children were still little.
I had plans, so many plans, but none of them came to pass. Yesterday morning at church, I took a spiritual gift inventory. I tried to answer questions as I am today, not as I was and not as I would like to be. I am so different today than I once was. I could do so many things back then. My heart still wants to, but my body now has limits. Oh Father, my children are young adults now.
When these dreams began, my daughter hadn’t turned 12 yet. She was still 11. My younger son was 14 and my older son was still 15. Oh Father, I was just given a clear memory of taking my eldest son to the Pittock Mansion in Portland OR to see the Christmas decorations. He was only three days old (it was on December 5th, 1997) and I could easily carry him. He still had that wonderful ‘new baby’ smell.
My most favorite times with my children were in Bend OR in 2005 and 2006. It was a time of joy and fun adventures with them, but it was also the beginnings of great sorrow. I remember the home we lived in at Cloud9 Estates. I remember the smells of the high desert in the winter and spring. I remember the warm sunshine, the kid’s laughter and their hugs. I remember their love and trust. They were safe with me.
My heart hurts now whenever I remember these past times. My mom is now gone, as well as my dad. There are so many others, as well as pets, that we once had. Father, perhaps in Heaven, you will give us the gift of reconciliation of time lost. This would seem particularly just for those who were robbed of a normal life. I wish I could have just one day back when my daughter was three and my sons were five and seven.
However, I would want this with me being whole and with no fear of financial hardship. I would want this with no looming court battles or threats from my enemy. It would just be one great, great day. Now that I am injured, the cold weather stiffens my muscles and joints. My children now also have other things that they would rather do then hang out with me. Gone are the days when we would go off on a drive to great adventures.
Gone are the days we would go to parks rivers, lakes and beaches. These are all gone. Oh Father, I just want to be young again. I want my body to line up again with my heart and mind. I want to feel alive again. On Friday night, my daughter and I went to the hospital to visit our friends that just had a baby boy. It was an extremely long labor. At one point, our friend asked me if I wanted to hold the baby.
Friend: “Erin, would you like to hold the baby?” I hesitated because I knew I wasn’t very strong. It had also been so long since I had held a baby. He pursued it with a smile. “Come on, Erin, this isn’t your first rodeo.”
He then placed the baby in my arms. He was such a beautiful baby boy. Just as I started to cry, I handed the baby off to my daughter. She sat down with the baby and seemed to be in awe. New life is such a miracle. However, this was bittersweet for me. I missed so much and was longing to capture something lost. In this case though, this really cannot be found again. Instead, it is time for new wonderful memories.
Sub-dream 1 description begins…
I was waiting a long time in drab surroundings in order to play a game. When I finally was about to leave because I was waiting too long, the owner showed me an adjacent room that was far greater. There were many amazing areas to play there. The owner could not believe that I had waited so long in this drab area. As I scanned my new surroundings, I just knew that my wait would be worth it.
Sub-dream 1 description over…
Sub-dream 2 description begins…
I was invited to a large beautiful home in a historic part of a city. While it seemed similar to Portland OR, I was not sure. An event was taking place in order to raise money for a local arts organization. There was a grand entrance with a porte-cochere to a staircase and double doors. The double doors entered into a foyer. The foyer had a large table in which to register guests.
Upon entering, the woman knew me. She then handed me a program packet and told me to enjoy the exhibit. The floor was made of white plank wood. The room had white woodwork throughout. The walls were painted grey and had colorful art with specialty lighting on them. This made the art stand out and was actually very beautiful. Adding to the elegance, there were ballerinas dancing all around us.
The food they served was also amazing. When I asked about this, I found out that a famous chef was here to serve this food. I took my time looking throughout, but it was now time to go as I had explored everything. Once I left the building, I began to walk down a slippery iced up slope. I was cautious though and did not slip.
I eventually arrived at the base of the hill. I was relieved that it was a level area. There was a large church to my left and several people were going into the building. The front of the building had a banner that read, ‘Welcome to Clever Church!’ A very kind woman in her late sixties soon approached me with a flyer.
Woman: “Welcome to the Clever Church. Have you been here before?”
Me: “No, I haven’t”
Woman: “Well, it is unlike anything you have experienced before. Please join us.”
There were many people still entering, but I found myself feeling tired of church.
Me: “Well, not right now, but thanks. I will think about it though.”
Woman: “Don’t wait too long. I am serious now. Do not wait to long.”
Me: “Don’t worry, I am already saved…”
I was going to say more, but the woman seemed to be done with me. She had now moved on, so I decided to do the same.
Me: Praying in the Spirit. “Lord, why was this church named ‘Clever Church’? The sign was written in the same font as the Cleveland Indians. It was mostly navy and had a similar red outline to the letters. This just seemed so peculiar.”
Sub-dream 2 description over…
Father, a storm is forecasted to hit late tonight. We could be stranded here for 24 hours. Please keep our power on during the heavy snow and ice. My husband had another interview on Friday. I pray that he gets this one. He is qualified and knows so many of the people on staff. This would keep us here for a while and take away quite a bit of our worry. Please forgive me for my continued worrying, Father.
This is the time of year that I am usually cut off from L&I. This is very nerve-racking for me. Please make things so I am no longer bound by them. Please heal us and set us free. I could do so many things. We have a lot of irons in various fires, but nothing is sparking. Everyday, I continue to believe that anything is possible. So, Father, please let this job for my husband come to pass. Please do this so that we are not fully reliant on this faulty system.
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
Jesus was standing at the end of the aspen grove path next to His horse. He smiled and raised up the reins to His horse once again. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I ran towards Him. I sprinted. I ran into His open arms. He held me as I cried.
Me: “I am scared, Lord. It has been over seven years since these dreams began. My son turns 22 tomorrow. I thought… I thought…”
Jesus: “Erin, you worry about many things, things which are common to all men. However, see these…I hold these reins. Remember My horse? Although he is surely unruly…” We laughed as His horse looked at Him, snorted and shook his head as if to pretend to be unruly. “See, this is what I am talking about right here.”
He laughed as He patted His horse. He turned back to me. Just then, something odd happened. His horse turned and licked Jesus’ robe. We both laughed so hard. Jesus is so calm and funny. He never puts anyone down as if to ridicule them. Even when upset at my enemies (well, really His), He is clear and direct. He is very much always God over us. Jesus had a smile on His face as I pondered all of this.
Jesus: “Hmm, Erin, you are studying Me.”
Me: “Yes, Lord. You are like no man. You are so kind, yet strong to the point of nothing standing against You. You are amazing. I love You…”
Jesus: “…and I love you. Now, by your own description, who am I? Am I able to handle your burdens once again or am I only capable to do this a few times?”
Me: Laughing. “If I fill in a ‘Burden-Lifted Punch Card’ from You, what will I get?”
Jesus: “Oh, do you mean one of these?”
He handed me a card that looked similar to a business card. It said ‘Erin’s Burdens – Complete this and redeem for a free gift!’
Me: Laughing. “Have I ever filled out one of these?”
Jesus: Laughing. “Well, actually, you have. However, you have never redeemed any of them with Me yet. Now, look over there…”
Jesus pointed towards His horse. There were now two large saddle bags hanging on both sides of His horse. I somehow already knew that each of them was filled with fully punched ‘Burden Cards’.
Me: Crying. “Oh no, Lord, have these cards now expired?”
Jesus: “Oh Erin, of course not. I didn’t show you these to make you cry. I did this only so you would know that I have taken away your burdens many times. However, these are just the ones you allowed Me to take. These are the ones saddled on My horse.”
His horse suddenly started to act unstable, as if his load of ‘Burden Cards’ were just too heavy for him. We both laughed as He talked to His horse.
Jesus: “Hmm, I had better heal you of your burdens, old friend. After all, you have some important engagements coming up where I will be relying on you. Are you up for this or should I call up another?”
We both continued to laugh. Just then, Jesus’ horse was strengthened and had full armor put on him. He was now prepared for battle. He lifted up his front legs and made a powerful neighing sound. He now looked and acted so incredibly majestic!
Jesus: Smiling at me. “Whew, what a relief! I was a bit concerned there.”
Me: “You are both so funny. I know that both You and your horse are trying to cheer me up. Lord, Your horse doesn’t need reins and You don’t need saddle bags. I am so sorry, Lord, as I take up these burdens so readily and fail to pass them to You. Your shoulders are strong and You always care for us.”
Jesus: “Erin, I have removed thousands of burdens from you. I know what you are facing. I know what you have endured and I am here. I love you. To Me, your heavy burdens are like this small card in weight. However, Erin, remember that it is also a punch card. Every punch taken out of the card makes the card even lighter. Erin, you have filled many of these here.”
Me: Smiling. “May I redeem them for my prize someday?”
Jesus: “If you would like to, you can redeem them now.”
Me: I smiled as I joked with Him. “Oh, but I thought that I was already redeemed?”
Jesus: “Well, who is the funny one now? The two are not the same. This is not a ‘Redemption Punch Card’. Even though holiness comes with it as My redeeming power grows, that would have only one transaction, one event, but no holes in it.
Me: “So, what are these punched out ‘Burden Cards’ good for? What is the free gift?”
Jesus: “Well, the gift was not free as your burdens were the original price before you handed them over to Me to handle these for you. Erin, you are dealing with many variables which are out of your control. This truly means that this is My battle. Your troubles are My battlefield.
“I know the enemy and I have more information. If you knew all of the things that were occurring to come against you daily, you would be frozen and afraid of that which is unseen. However, giving Me everything takes the burden off of you and places them in My capable hands. I am the holder of the reins and I control all of it.”
Me: “Lord, is the enemy breaking ranks?”
Jesus: “Again, not your burden and not your cause. Yes, while the enemy is clever, I once again hold the reins. Heaven is not shocked or surprised by any of this. My Father in Heaven knows the times and seasons in which He will move Heaven to overtake the enemy’s authority on Earth. Right now, it is a difficult thing to see. I too long for the day when I am visible on the clouds with My friend here…” He turned to His horse. “…along with the Army of Heaven.”
Me: “Do You mean both saints and angels?”
Jesus: “Yes. However, it will be much greater than you can imagine. Now, let Me redeem these cards for you.”
Me: “But, Lord, there are thousands…even tens of thousands.”
Jesus: “Well, perhaps they aren’t all just yours.” He smiled.
Me: “I love You, Lord!”
Jesus: Smiling. “Erin, I will continue to take hold of your right hand. I will lead you on the way that you should go. I will provide for you and will send help as you wait. I will heal your brokenness and answer the cries of your heart. I will answer your prayers for your husband, children and friends.
“I am with you and I will have compassion for you. My promises are true. Please stand on them when you worry. Just call Me as I am always with you. Please do not let your heart be troubled. Be strong.” He smiled as He pointed to my feet. “Beautiful are the feet that brings Good News.”
I looked down at my feet. I was in shock as they were now perfectly shaped and without blemish. My toenails were also perfect and reflected like pearls.
Me: “Oh wow, how beautiful. I never noticed before how strong my feet are here.”
Jesus: “Now rejoice and dance like you did in your youth, but even better. It is easy for Me, Erin, because I know the plans I have for you and that I am with you. This means that I will pour into you the Good News, the healing and My miracles. Since I am already fully aware of My capabilities, I therefore know what yours will be as I will be working through you.
“So again, Erin, why worry? Is your former employer making Me want to run and hide? No. Is your greatest enemy bigger than Me? No. Are your debts to great? Will they bankrupt Me? No. Will evil men chase Me and demand payments? Oh, quite certainly, they will not. Do you understand?”
Me: “Well then, Lord, please rise up in me in a way only you can. Do this now so I no longer think like a woman attacked, chased and harassed by evil men. This is what I have come to expect. While You see the end from the beginning, I see trouble at both ends. While You see freedom, I see chains. I have trouble even imagining freedom, so please help me.”
Jesus: “Is this to be one of your ‘Ticket Prizes’?”
Me: “Okay…yes…whatever You give me is much greater than I can give myself.”
Jesus: Smiling. “Your wisdom is rising. This is good. I agree with you. I agree. I say yes to this.”
Me: “Thank You, Lord.”
Jesus: “Now I have much to do. My lists just increased and now I must call in more angels.” He smiled.
Me: “Yes…or You could just completely remove my troubles in a single day, but without death. Yes…I like this one the best!”
Jesus: Laughing. “Okay, now rejoice. I have agreed to the case you make and there is no appeal needed. Now, laugh today. Rejoice and smile as you are loved by Me.”
He hugged me and I never wanted to let go of Him. His horse, my friend here, licked my hand. It was a pleasant feeling and not at all ‘disgusting’. Jesus and I both smiled and laughed together as this gesture from His horse was just so endearing. Quite simply, I never wanted this dream to end.
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