Dream 477 – You mean so much more to Me than a Sparrow
Received on Sunday, February 21, 2021
Thank You for this beautiful day! Even when conditions are miserable outside and around us, You keep us close. Thank You for answering prayers concerning our children. To see hope, promise and joy in them is like a wave of comfort and thanksgiving. Thank You for answering our prayers.
With my physical decline the last few months and a delay in receiving this surgery due to the pandemic, I finally received what I had hoped would make me feel better… surgery. Unfortunately, when one goes into a scenario like this, it makes me once again realize that I am no ‘spring chicken’. While my grandma used to say this, I never understood why until now.
My husband and I looked up the meaning of this saying. This is brought to you by the internet. The origin of the phrase actually comes from its literal meaning. In the early 1700s, farmers found that chickens born in the spring brought better prices than the ‘older chickens’. Well, I have now been through 58 winters, so going into just a mild surgery can become problematic, especially when the doctor had not performed one like this before.
There are so many ‘unknowns’. I am so sorry that I am worried. I am experiencing what those unknowns are now. I have been so sad. I am the worst physically I have ever been. Father, I am so sorry. I took for granted all of the physical abilities I once had. It is a gift to be free of restrictions and limitations when being mobile. It is a gift I didn’t treasure enough when I was young.
My body was my best friend when growing up. When I had no control over the events around me, I could at least control my body. This included my intake of food. I also developed my skills, strength and appearance. In the end though, it was my thoughts and word curses spoken over myself which were the root cause of my fall physically.
My worst fear was to be rendered helpless or dependent on others. Why? Because those closest to me had once betrayed me the most. This is why trusting my body to others, including doctors and surgeons, is difficult for me. So, here lies many of the issues really… I have come through all these hurdles, tests, trials, losses, shame, brokenness, illnesses and injustices.
However, the trials continue in some capacity. If my troubles from the enemy are over, then this must be that remaining troubles are coming from You for Your purposes. It is not just me though. Many of our friends are encountering physical and medical issues right now. Why do this right before Your ‘Great Kickoff’? Leading up to my surgery, I was spending a whole lot of time worrying about my future, my husband, my children and our household income.
We also have had automotive problems again recently. The financial end of this made me worry, so I debated on how I could create income within my disabilities. I went through many scenarios, but realized that this would be fruitless in my current condition. I was then reminded of a short dream I had back near my birthday (January 23, 2021)…
Sub-dream 1 “Trusting the Lord for the income and the outcome” begins…
I was a young girl again, about 8 years old. I took out a hard-shelled blonde colored small suitcase from my closet. It was the same as the suitcase I used to visit my grandma’s home in Nevada as a child. I packed it with essentials, including my Raggedy Ann doll, underwear, some small keepsakes and some clothing. After shoving a pillow in there, I had to sit on the suitcase to shut the clasps.
I dragged the suitcase to the door and went to the kitchen for snacks. There was barely anything in the fridge. I took out a brick of government-issue Velveeta-like cheese. I cut some slices and tossed them into a brown lunch bag, along with some plain crackers and a small orange. Even though I wanted to run away, I had no money for even the fair on BART (public transit).
Still, I decided to drag the suitcase down the front stairs to the sidewalk. I needed to evaluate my options more clearly. I turned in three directions. There was still no clear answer as to what I should do. I decided that running away was just not feasible. I turned around and decided to go back inside and eat lunch instead. When I woke up from this scenario, I was still in a dream. Jesus came to meet me.
Jesus: “Erin, I have provided for you and your house. If you trust Me for all of your income… and you do… then why do you continue to worry?”
Me: “It is because our car has broken down again and other troubles have come. I just want to make sure that I am doing all that I can.”
Jesus: “Which is what?”
Me: I was very quiet. “Nothing. I can do nothing. It is impossible.”
Jesus: “Okay, so, if you trust Me for your income, your ‘input’, and since we are speaking, you must then trust Me with what I have to say.”
Me: “Yes, Lord.”
Jesus: “So, do you only trust Me for income, but not for the outcome? If you are 100% at My mercy for all things coming in and going out, then what is your responsibility? Is it to get in the midst of Me to block My flow or is it to stand aside to allow Me to work?”
Me: “You are right, Lord. I am sorry!”
Sub-dream 1 over…
Wow, God is brilliant. Even though I went through my surgery, I am alive and still here. I have no feeling in my side and it has been ten days. Two nurses told me that, for now, this is a mixed blessing given that I am unable to keep pain medication down. I am once again in the hands of God. I am fully at His Mercy. In contrast, I am no spring chicken, I have no plan and I am certainly not dragging a suitcase to the BART train.
Father, this surgery has humbled me severely. My left hip feels as if a hot poker is being shoved into my body whenever I sneeze, cough, laugh or move incorrectly. I am clearly realizing that I am like the 8-year-old girl in the dream… I am going nowhere without You. I truly give my life to You. With great tears, I repent. I am so sorry, Father. I love You. Please forgive me.
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
I heard a knock on my front door. There was Jesus and He was smiling. He was holding a scroll with one hand. He was using the scroll to tap His other hand. I was so excited to see Him. I opened the door.
Me: “Lord, You can just come in. After all, You already reside here. This is the house that You have made. All of this is all Yours.”
Jesus: Laughing. “All good points, Erin. However, I must show you something today. Come.”
He reached out to take my hand. He walked me through the snow to our side yard. We stood there and saw an astonishing variety of animals and birds.
Jesus: “Which one of these is starving?”
All of the animals looked very healthy. I could see a group of deer up on the hill across from our house. I saw fat grey squirrels, about twenty red squirrels, Scout the lead black crow, a large pleated woodpecker and numerous other bird varieties. This did not include our nightshift animals and owls. I started to laugh as all were healthy.
Me: “You are right, Lord, just as You always are. Not one is starving.”
Jesus: “Who feeds them?”
Me: “I do. Am I doing too much?”
Jesus: “Erin, it is not you who feeds them. Think of it in another way. Who provides you with income for the seed, along with the outcome for distribution?”
Me: “I am so sorry, Lord. You do!”
Jesus: “I also brought them to you. I equip you fully to provide. You are just a small portion of all that I do for them. I send angels in seasons to prepare them, to nest, to forage, to find water and to prepare for storms. Have you noticed that they all but disappear right before the storms come? Is this from you? Do you call out to them in a voice that each one understands?”
I was laughing. Jesus was smiling as He spoke.
Me: “Of course not.”
Jesus: “When a mother has her young close by, it is I Who provides near her home. I do this so she does not lose sight of her little ones. I also provide for the hawks, owls and foxes who have young. The animals are prepared in due season for what comes as I am their Provider. I even know when one sparrow falls.”
When I looked over at the feeders, I could see several crown sparrows.
Jesus: “I am the God who knows, who understands, who provides, who gives and even who takes away. I even lay down one life in sacrifice for another, right?”
Me: I was now crying. “Yes, Lord. Blessed be Your Name!”
Jesus: “Even though I require nothing from these animals or birds, they are still obedient to My Voice and fully subject to Me. They are not trained domestic animals that are subject to their owners. Instead, they are free and angels from Heaven govern over them. Just look at how much I care for them. Look how beautiful these are.”
I could now see even more evening grosbeaks, blue jays, finches, woodpeckers and cardinals. He lifted His left arm and many came to see Him. He fed them from His right hand. I was in awe. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
Jesus: “What is wrong? You should be happy. Look how beautiful. Look how detailed each feather is. They don’t look worried, right? They fly with confidence.”
Me: “Sometimes we have a knock on our front door and it is a grey squirrel.”
Jesus: “Yes, I know. I send them.”
Me: “You do?”
Jesus: “When they are hungry, they knock… hoping to receive. This is a good thing. They come with confidence that your home will provide. They look to see if you are home.” He was smiling. “What? You didn’t think they could be this smart? Do the squirrels not know exactly where they bury each of their nuts? This ability came from God. The knocking squirrels are then rewarded with even more nuts than they asked for. Is this also not just like God?”
Me: “Oh yes, Lord, absolutely!”
Jesus: “Even the crow studies the activities of these squirrels. When they are not looking, the crow then unburies a nut. The crow is an opportunist that also strives to fill his stomach.”
Me: Laughing. “Wow, Lord, You are giving me the live version of reaping and sowing.”
Jesus: “How about I am giving you the ‘Jesus I Am Version Live’ to back up My Words on paper. You then wonder ‘why do I allow this or that?’ You then ask ‘why does everything take so much time?’ You wonder what I mean by ‘for a season’ and when I will do this or that based on the signs. You worry if I am mad at you when troubles come. How about this instead…
“I love you even more than these… and I love them very much…” He pointed to all the wildlife around us. “If you just consider this one thing when you watch them… that I do all of this for them… yet I love you in an even greater way… then perhaps you could understand much more. You have been readied as a Bride, a perfect match to her Groom. This means you must understand fully what your Groom has endured for the sake of His love for His Bride.”
Me: Crying… yet again. “I am so sorry, Lord. I have endured nothing compared to You. I am so very sorry!”
Jesus: “Do not worry as you are not in competition with Me.” He nudged me. “Instead, you are a compliment to Me. As these adorn My arm…” He pointed to the beautiful birds there, all of different varieties. “…you then, in your beauty, I will wear as a Jewel in My Crown.”
Me: “Oh Lord, please change us. I so want to be beautiful for you.”
Jesus: “Erin, you are already beautiful to Me. I know you. I know every portion of you. I love you. I will adorn you fully. As the world knows you as you are now, they will soon be left speechless.”
Me: “Really, Lord? I am excited! Thank You!”
Jesus: “What? Are you not going to ask Me when?”
Me: “I have always been that knocking squirrel. You tell me the same thing every time. You showed me ‘just a pinch of time is left’ the last time we met. This is a small time. While I do not know Your timing, I do know this… I am no spring chicken. I am instead a woman who acts chicken. The season is winter. However, You make all things new. You can make me new at any time. I am so sorry that I tried to go ahead of You.”
Jesus: “I am with you always.” He was laughing. “You make Me smile. Erin, I am preparing you in your dreams.”
Me: “Yes, Lord. I had an interesting dream just last night…
Sub-dream 2 “Tattoos of very scary men instantly removed” begins…
I was in the center of a large prison cell of gang members. I appeared just as they had started curing You. You strengthened me and worked through me. All of these strong men soon became weak and fell to their knees. Those who still wanted to curse at me were unable. This place was completely void of You, except for three men. These three had not yet fully transformed into the darkness.
You spoke through me and called them by name. You removed all of their tattoos and piercings and brought them to their feet. All of the others began to cry. All in the room were then healed and set free. They all went out and testified of Your Great Work. Some were tattooed all over their faces, yet You removed it all and restored them. I was in absolute awe as I watched You perform miracle after miracle.
Sub-dream 2 over…
Jesus: “Yes, Erin, and this is just the beginning. Erin, please rest now. Trust in Me to restore you and heal you. Trust others around you to help. Let go and trust Me. Oh yes, here…” He handed me the scroll with His promises. “This is a copy of your promises from Me. I have others if this becomes lost.” He smiled. “Although you rarely lose anything.”
We laughed together as He was referring to the fact that I usually carefully store important records. While not always logically filed, they are usually there when I need them.
Me: “Nothing is ever lost with You, Jesus. With You, all things are found. With You, You know where everything is.”
Jesus: “Well, this has been a good lesson today on trust… both for your income and your outcome.”
Me: “I love You, Lord.” I reached over and hugged Him.
Jesus: “I love you too, Erin. Allow Me to carry you.”
Me: “Yes, Lord.”
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