Dream 510 – A Lesson in Trust and Faith
Received on Sunday, August 8, 2021
Thank You for another day! Thank You for my husband and children. Thank You for our Nest family of Sparrows. We are so blessed. My heart is filled with gratitude and wonder at all You have done for me. I have had a very good life. While it hasn’t been an easy road, it has been rich in experiences. While I am spiritually wealthy in my heart, I am poor on paper according to the world. It is a better way…
- As a child, I said ‘look at me’, but no one really cared
- As a youth, I said ‘help me’ as I was lost
- As a young adult, I said ‘only me’ as I was alone
- As a new Christian, I said ‘why not me’ as I believed You would do a miracle in me
- As a wounded Christian, I said ‘why me?’ as I was going through the furnace of affliction
- As a grieving Christian adult, I said ‘don’t forget me’ as I felt alone in my sorrows
- As a mom and single Christian adult, I said ‘show me’ as I had only known trouble and did not know what to do
- As a mom with an injury, I said ‘carry me’ as I had no abilities
- As a mom and believer of God as my Miracle Maker, I said ‘guide me’ as I am scared
- As an older mom and wife, I said ‘find me’ as I have been grieving lost years
- As a dreamer who sees storms ahead, I said ‘shelter me’ as I am helpless without You
- As a child of God who loves her Father, I said ‘bless me, strengthen me and heal me’ as I am going on a great journey
Oh Father, I love You so much. Please never stop loving me. While I have almost finished my winterizing, I choose to rest in You today. You have been helping me put to use things I had forgotten about. Things which have no use are given to those who could use them. As I have begun to let go of more and more, You are blessing me in return. My husband is helping me remove things that are burdensome to us.
We have been cleaning and preparing for something God is requiring of us. However, we are still unsure of what and when this will be. Our spy trip to the West will be in the first half of September. In the meantime, we will continue to complete our tasks and let go of more and more. I am now going over tasks already completed and trying to do an even better job removing more and more. When I remove more, I can see more.
I spent a lot of years as an interior designer storing up items for resale. I know one popular designer from Texas that has a storage warehouse filled with architectural items for use for their clients. These are one of a kind salvage items. I understand this. When I moved here 7 years ago, I needed to let go of these items. Storage of such items requires three things…
- You need to be actively in business
- Profit margins have to be greater than storage costs
- You are able to let go of items with ease
After my injury, I kept thinking that I would be back in the business. However, after 7 years, I am still not back. I now view items in categories such as ‘donation’, ‘sell’ and ‘has a place of which would be more costly to replace’. The Lord guided me on this by telling me… “Things which cause you stress or regret are a burden. Remove them. You will not miss them. I will replace any required item with something even better.”
Well, I am following His advice. I am doing what the Lord has told me. As I release my burdens, He is strengthening me. As I let go of my old dreams, He is filling my heart with more of Him. I have always told my clients that less is more and this rings true today. I have even lost weight during this process, an added and much wanted bonus. God wants us to have communion with Him free of clutter. He wants our attention in joy, not in heaviness.
After my daughter left, I couldn’t go into her room without crying. A chapter and huge part of my existence was void. This happened so quickly. I had no time to prepare for the void. It is exactly 40 days today since she told me she was leaving on Tuesday, June 29, 2021. Nothing can fill this void except You, Father. No distraction can remove my grief, though I have tried.
I had hoped to have our home filled with young adults from the church. However, this was not Your plan, Father, at least not in the way in which I had pictured it. Sometimes our best laid plans are really dead dreams. I am letting go of lost hopes and dead dreams. These are all ‘old bridge stuff’. The results of me letting go have been good though. This simplicity is lending itself to enhanced quietness.
When I was a child, we were poor. We had very little. I had no idea how little we had until I went over to my friends’ houses. We were the poorest on the street by far. Whatever we did have of value was stolen in the many break ins. I learned very early in life not to get attached to any of our stuff. However, when I had children, things changed. I held onto more because it was harder to let go.
Well, I am broken right now. I need You to put me together again. I need healing. I need You to carry me. I need Your assurance that I am on the right track. Most of all, I need Your love. I am scared for this new adventure. When I think of going, I feel pain, not joy. While I know that I should have joy, I am apprehensive about so many things right now. Father, please show me what more I need to do so I am set free.
About two weeks ago, my Kingbird disappeared. I recall sitting outside and it came near me. It was studying me. Then it flew away. I went to the other side of our house and it followed me everywhere I went. However, on this particular day, he was very interactive with me. I went to his nest and saw that his babies had already left. After that day, I did not see him again.
I looked for him every day since then. He was gone. He left on almost the same day as the day that my daughter left on Thursday, July 22, 2021. I later found out that late July is when Kingbirds migrate to South America for the winter. I pray that he returns to us in March 2022. His nest is here waiting for him. I now realize that the day he was interactive with me was the day he said goodbye to me in the only way he knew how.
It is so hard to say goodbye. A bird takes nothing for their journey except perhaps a full belly. God, You are amazing how You can take that little bird from our house all the way south and back again. Please protect its journey and bring it home again to us next year. I just know that things in our care and out of our care are all really always in Your care. Blessed are You, Awesome Father!
I woke up yesterday from a dream I was having about a former President of the USA. The only thing that really stood out from this particular dream was the word ‘hubris’. When we looked up the definition in the dictionary, my husband and I had a great laugh on how applicable this word was for this particular man.
Father, the world is changing rapidly. Christians are being persecuted at an alarming rate. The globalists are moving people freely throughout the land. The enemy appears to be reversing some of Your past actions, all in direct defiance of You…
- Reversing the Tower of Babel and the scattering of peoples
- Allowing for the reversal of all of Your laws and commandments
- Allowing for our unique DNA to be harvested and cloned
- Allowing for unnatural atrocities to become natural according to the world
- Making it so anyone who speaks out on any of this is destroyed
Oh Father, this is a perfect time for You to rise us up. Please do not forget about us. What is coming, according to the world, is all Anti-God, Anti-Jesus and Anti-Christ. We are seeing the birth pangs now. Oh Lord, it is so obvious that we are in labor now. Please deliver us as only You can deliver us. We are all ready and excited about Your soon plans for all of us who You have called!
Jesus: “Erin, come up.”
I heard a knock at my door. It was Jesus. He was smiling. I ran to the door and opened it. I began to cry as He hugged me.
Me: “Lord, while I thought life would become easier with age, it hasn’t.”
Jesus: “You have great faith in My abilities. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. Even so, you lack a key component… trust. Now, let’s look at your experience with the Kingbird.”
He took my hand and we walked around to the back of our home where the Kingbird’s nest is.
Jesus: “See, Erin, his nest is now vacant. However, it remains ready for his return in spring. His journey is a long one, filled with much uncertainty and great danger in both directions. Now look…”
Jesus waved His arm and I was now able to look into a portal. It was like a 3D movie, but more intricate. There I saw the Kingbird making the journey with many other Kingbirds. He was not alone in his epic journey to South America.
Jesus: “Erin, I don’t just care for this one bird, I care for all of these birds. This bird’s home is here.” He pointed back to the nest. “He was raised as a youth here and this is his home. He is also married here. Now, if I care for this bird who communicates with you, even to say goodbye for a few months, then how much more do I care for you?”
Me: Crying. “Even more, Lord. What do I lack? Well, wait… I lack a lot of things, Lord.”
Jesus: Smiling. “Oh Erin, are you now having your own conversations? Again, you have faith, but you lack in one area… trust. The Kingbird trusts Me. While you trust Me to carry out miracles and you trust My character as God, you still aren’t trusting Me that My outcome is best for you.”
Me: “I trust that You are capable and I trust that Your Will will be done.”
Jesus: “Yes, but you don’t trust Me to deliver a result which is good concerning you.”
Me: Crying. “Oh Lord, You are right. I fear that I will need more furnace work. Oh, how I want so much to be…”
Jesus: “Wait, I walked with you through the furnace.”
Me: “Yes, but You also let me go through it so many times.”
I started laughing at myself because I realized I was arguing with God Himself.
Jesus: With a huge smile. “Look over there, Erin. There is a place we can wrestle all of this out. How about it?”
Me: Still laughing. “I will pass. Since You are God, I will lose every single time. Hmm, I would probably also end up with an even worse injury.”
Jesus: “Stop! Erin, stop. Stop acting as if you are uncertain if I will come through. I always have, Erin. Always! However, it is always for your good and for My glory, NOT for your comfort.”
Me: I began to cry. “I know, Lord, I know. I just want my will to be in line with Your Will. I am mad at myself. I wanted my daughter to stay. I wanted her to find a helpmate, a husband, and build a life where I could be nearby. I wanted my sons to be healed. I wanted my husband to be hired by one of these employers. I wanted our Beta fish Heaven to be healed. I can’t call my mom to talk to her. I never painted or drew again.
“I can’t do anything to earn a living or to even make myself healthier, like walking. There is nothing I can do except that which You ask of me. That is to let go of all of this… all of the memory remnant of these hopes… all the preconceived notions… all the big ideas that faded long ago.
“I am so sorry, Lord. I love You. Without You, I have nothing. I have faith in You completely. Still, I do not trust as I should. I then find myself questioning my ability to hear from You. I have been in a cave…”
Jesus: “Well then, step out of your cave. I am here with you. Hear Me, Erin. While I have already granted you your requests, I just have a better way. This is not an easier way, just a better way. Remember that Gideon could have fought with his 32,000 fighting warriors. However, I instead pared him down to an impossibly low number of just 300 men. Why would I do such a thing?”
Me: “So that Gideon could not claim the victory personally aside from you?”
Jesus: “Smart! My Sparrow has wisdom. Remember that an unconventional Creator calls for unconventional methods. Should you then be surprised when I do things in an unexpected way?”
Me: “Well, I really shouldn’t be, but I often am.”
Jesus: “Erin, I am doing the impossible with you. I have already granted you your requests. Go through your list again and see if there is anything too great for Me.”
Me: “There isn’t, Lord. You can do all things.”
Jesus: “This we can agree on.” He nudged me. “Now, let Me therefore then do even more.”
Me: “Oh Lord, I am so sorry for my lack.”
Jesus: “You believed for the outcome without knowing exactly how I would go about this. Then when My plans unfolded, you began to panic as it didn’t look good.” He smiled. “Now relax and breathe. You are doing a good work. Continue on your course as I am right here with you.”
Me: “Lord…” I stopped myself.
Jesus: “I know what you want to ask Me. What is My timing? When will I do this? Well, Erin, I am opening doors right as you ask. The same is true for your daughter. The enemy will claim no victory as all of his plots will backfire. Do not worry as I have your daughter, as well as your sons. They are Mine. Continue with the plan I have placed on your heart. Let Me open doors as these are presented.
“Allow Me room to operate on your behalf… that is, if you trust Me to fulfill the outcome I have already promised you.” He smiled as He reached over to hug me. “I love you, Erin. I have you. Trust Me with your lives. I am about to do something in your days you would not believe even if I told you.” He smiled again. “My plans are good ones… very good ones.” He nodded. “Right, Sparrow?”
Me: Smiling. “Yes, Lord.”
Jesus: “Well, we could instead spend our time together reviewing what everything would look like without Me. Hmm…” He smiled.
Me: “Oh no no no no! Please no!”
Jesus: Laughing. “Very good, very good. I have you. I have a Great Plan. You will love it. It is not even something you can conceive. Rejoice as I have already promised it.”
He smiled at me with such an enormous love that my heart soared in delight.
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